(Closed) Bachelor party…how to not be upset with him

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
1392 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It would have bothered me a lot too, especially if it was out of character for him.

His reaction sounds good though, he feels bad and he really does sound like he cares about you a lot.    I think you will be okay.  🙂

Post # 48
Member
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

YOu are not overacting, if it is not his norm to drink and party.  The good thing is that they were dancing with bath suits it could have been much worse.  YOu have a good guy that told you what went on…he could have left the girls out but opted not to.

Post # 49
Member
6414 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’d be upset too… I’m a very jealous person and I’ve never trusted ANYONE… I don’t even try. I worry about the bachelor party too but he knows how I feel so hopefully it’ll go over smoothly. I don’t really have advice I just wanted to let you know I know how you feel and I hope things have gotten back to normal for ya!

Post # 50
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I don’t think you should be upset.  He had no control of the party and when he got back he told you.  Who cares that they were in bathing suits… girls wear less to clubs these days! The end result is he is with you! Don’t worry!

Post # 51
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

The question is DID HE HAVE TO TELL YOU?? The answer is NO.

BAchelor parties are for this main reason: THIS IS HIS LAST NIGHT AS A TECHNICALLY SINGLE MAN so he partied away. He should have kept it to himself no matter how innocent it was. It just wasnt for your ears/mind. This man loves you and you love him. So let it be. You are the woman he wants to spend the rest of his natural born life with.

DID YOU HAVE A BACHELORETTE PARTY?? WAS THERE A STRIPPER?? I am asking these questions so you can sit there and think for a moment. Did you tell him about said stripper or would you tell him. We as women think too much! Your only hurting yourself and inturn your pissing him off. Let it go.

Post # 52
Member
550 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

after reading all this and then doing some google stuff I decided on this:

 

Its not a question of you over reacting or not.

It is a question of him knowing what you would be comfy with and making sure to stay within those bounds.

 

No matter where he is at if he knows how you feel about certain things and makes sure to do everything so those lines are not crossed there is and would be no issue.

 

The fact of you never complimenting him….that is a typical insult lots of men throw at ladies…women for the most part are fast to second guess themselves or believe their partner and feel they are not doing enough…it’s bullshit. Does he say you dont tell him how good looking he is when there is not the topic of ladies and dancing involved? If the answer is no then he is trying to throw this back at you so he is not in question anymore.

Post # 53
Member
2933 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Way too much analysis and emotion is being allocated to this event.  Seriously, get yourself together, it’s totally okay! 

Post # 54
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I don’t know, I was always kind of under the impression that the Bachelor party thing was a closed subject–my Future Brother-In-Law still won’t talk about his.  It also kind of depends on your point of view–if you get really upset at the though of him having the typical last hurrah then yeah, I can see why you’re upset.  If not, then I don’t.  Personally I fully expect my guy to hit the stip club or some other such ridiculousness and be done with it.

Post # 55
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

double post.

Post # 56
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

It was his stag night, it’s the last big party he is supposed to have as a “free agent” of course it is going to be slightly more risque then beer with the bros b/c you are obviously not putting the kebash on that after the wedding (but you will probably be putting an end to the Party Cove) . But your complete stressing out, breaking down thing is worrying me more.

Unless you can watch your man every moment of every day, you need to accept that other women (in bathing suits or fully clothed) might flirt with him. You don’t have to like it, but you do need to find a way to deal with it for your own sake of you will worry every time he goes somewhere pretty women might be.

Post # 58
Member
1596 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

I dont think he did anything wrong and I think you are massivly over reacting.

Do u realise that because u have reacted like this, he will be much less likely in the future to be so open and honest with you.

Post # 59
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

i know this sounds weird, but if Fiance came home telling me that I would have been OK with it because Fiance is a very tight person when it comes to drinking and dancing and partying. I can’t even count how many times I try to get him to loosen up while we’re out. It’s just not his thing. I would want him to loosen up and have a good time!

But every situation is different. I would know that when he would come home that I am his one and only. I would love to meet those girls who he danced with, simply to get their advice on how they made him dance! So I guess I would be jealous, but for all the wrong reasons! hahah

Post # 60
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2012

While I wouldn’t truly worry….

I’d be incredibly PO’d.

I personally would rather my FH be around strippers, who have no prerogative other than to grab some cash at their job…vs. women in a ‘real’ situation and environment.

That said I think you’re handling it well. But this guy seriously owes you some homemade dinners and your fave movies…seriously. Lol I bet he is just kicking himself.

 

Post # 60
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2012

While I wouldn’t truly worry….

I’d be incredibly PO’d.

I personally would rather my FH be around strippers, who have no prerogative other than to grab some cash at their job…vs. women in a ‘real’ situation and environment.

That said I think you’re handling it well. But this guy seriously owes you some homemade dinners and your fave movies…seriously. Lol I bet he is just kicking himself.

 

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