(Closed) Bachelorette Destination Help Please

posted 4 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
6609 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

If you truly want to be respectful of everyone’s travel budgets, then the best place and time would be the weekend of and location of the wedding. Everyone is already traveling and adding one more hotel night is not as much of a burden as an additional flight, a couple nights in a hotel and all the other expenses. Spending the Thursday or Friday before the wedding at a local spa then a wine tasting dinner could be a great bachelorette party that helps you unwind a bit and doesn’t saddle your friends with $1000 more in bills.

Post # 3
Member
336 posts
Helper bee

Are your friends on board with spending this much to travel a second time? Most likely not everyone will be able to afford to attend, so just pick the one you rather go to. Personally going out of the country and dealing with customs for a destination bachelrette is not something I would want to do (and it sounds like it would have to be more than a weekend trip, which I probably would decline). I would be more likely to go to Denver, and there is so much to do out there! You could even escape the city by going out to Vail and renting an airnbn. Both united and frontier have hubs there too, so its a pretty easy place to fly.

Post # 4
Member
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

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poppinbottles :  wow, you and your friends have lots of travel budget, and time! 

Post # 5
Member
540 posts
Busy bee

Montreal!!! I’m planning a bach in the summer in Montreal. $100 of your US dollars will get you $125 CAD dollars so your money will go further. We are staying in an airBNB in the Old Port. I’ve planned some more activities too. Let me know if you need any help!

Post # 8
Member
13964 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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Horseradish :  I second this. As far as I am concerned any expectation for additional out of town travel is unreasonable. If the wedding week is not feasible, frankly, in OP’s position I’d turn it down altogether. 

Post # 10
Member
1506 posts
Bumble bee

While I don’t normally like the destination bachelorette trend, it sounds normal for your social group and I think it’s different when people are spread out. I would prefer the bachelorette be a separate weekend—I don’t like to use valuable vacation time, and would prefer to spend more to do a different weekend. 

I’m also having a bachelorette people have to travel for because everyone is geographically spread out. I didn’t do it wedding week/weekend either because the group voted against it. And same thing as you I had half West Coast and half East Coast guests. I put the bachelorette on the opposite coast of the wedding and made it clear that I understood if people couldn’t make it.  It was impossible to find a weekend more than 70% were open for with everyone’s travel schedules anyway. 

Post # 11
Member
6609 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

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poppinbottles :  “It’s totally optional for my friends — no “expections” just an “invitation”.”

 

weddings don’t work that way.  People feel a LOT of pressure to say Yes to whatever the bride wants, no matter how unreasonable, which is why it’s so important for brides to be truly respectful of their loved ones’ circumstances. 

Post # 13
Member
13964 posts
Honey Beekeeper

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poppinbottles :  It is also likely that at least a few don’t want to disappoint you. I cannot tell you how many women I have known who act enthusiastic out of love, pressure, or perceived obligation to a friend, but behind the scenes are anything but. IMO the burden is on the bride to avoid the imposition. 

Even if your friends historically have loved to travel together, many of them are now married. Priorities and budgets change. And a month before the wedding is asking a lot too.

Post # 15
Member
6609 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

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poppinbottles :  obviously covering some of the expense makes it less unreasonable but still not really considerate. You’re still sticking them with flight expenses and several days of their time. That’s just an awful lot to ask for. It’s just a bachelorette. It doesn’t need to be a 3-day commitment for everyone.

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