Post # 1
Are you providing your wedding party with a list of do’s and don’ts for your bachellorette party? I was thinking about doing one up for them. I am a little bit of a control freak but at the same time I want to be able to hand this over to them and let them be in control. But I can’t 100% do that with out them knowing that strippers are out of the question and a few other things that I would prefer not to do.
Are you doing this? Would you think it would be ok if I did this? It isn’t going to be super specific I just want to set boundaries and maybe give them some ideas… Or should I let go and let them do what they want.
Should I just give them a don’t list? Or just write them a nice e-mail not in list form of what I don’t really want to do.
I hate wanting to control everything! But I just can’t help it. Ahhhh
Post # 3
I wouldn’t give them a list, they probably won’t follow it anyways LOL my sister said no strippers the first place we took her to was a strip club and it was so funny and corny and everyone was laughing and she had a great time. Just let them plan it and let it be a surprise.
Post # 4
I wouldn’t give my BMs a do and don’t list. If you have specific preferences, I might mention them casually in conversation (if they bring up the party), but I would just let it go and have a good time. I’m sure they know you well enough to know what you’d like.
Post # 5
I think an entire list might be a bit controlling, but my Maid/Matron of Honor knows I don’t want penis or stripper things. If I gave her a list of things I want, I feel like that would be me dictating what she has to do, and that doesn’t seem fair. It is, after all, a gift.
Post # 6
I think lists/emails come off as controlling. I would just talk to your Maid/Matron of Honor or whoever in the bridal party will respect your wishes. I told my Maid/Matron of Honor no penis anything and no strippers under any circumstances and she complied.
Post # 6
My sister knows me well enough that I dont find things like penis straws funny. Nor did I want to do big clubs. She planned the perfect weekend without me having to give her “rules”. We did have general discussions as the months went by that probably gave her some direction thought.
I wouldnt have had a Maid/Matron of Honor that didnt know me well enough to plan something I would enjoy. Maybe for some people to do the exact opposite of they would want is funny, but not to me.
Post # 7
If there is something your really uncomfortable with, speak up! I went to one a year ago, and the bride said “NO strippers!!” Well the girls in her bridal party thought it would be fun to hire 3 to come to the house, we all new except for her. All together it was a really fun night, drinks, funny games and very laid back, but when the strippers or “cops” came, the bride threw a fit!! She said sorry to the strippers and showed them out, but freaked on the BM’s and it ruined the night. She explained she felt so uncomfortable with them touching her, and she didnt want her husband to be going to them (which he didnt) so why should she want them. Shes a good catholic girl, like the one who goes to church ever sunday and sweet as pie. But it just wasnt right that her BM’s did that to her.
There are somethings if you let loose and have a fun time, you probley wont care about and have fun…but if you do have an issue, dont worry about speaking up.
Post # 8
Just hint at what you want. Relax and enjoy your bachlorette party! Your friends know you and what you will enjoy.
Post # 9
I don’t think I’d suggest making a list, necessarily, but do speak up if you’re adamant about NOT wanting to do something. Your bridal party should know you best…
I had two friends that tried to plan my stagette (without the consent of my MOH), making it into a typical stag with bar-hopping and everything else I’m not into AT ALL. I had to step in and tell them to leave it up to my Maid/Matron of Honor and to just help her out. SO glad I did, the night was exactly how I would have wanted it!
Post # 10
I wouldn’t do a list.. because my BMs are throwing me a party and I will just be greatful for that. One of my BMs however, has discused all the options with me and we therefore got an idea of what I like and don’t like.. One of the issues were strippers. I am just not a fan of male strippers in general.. so they all know that BUT if they did hire a stripper.. I just ask that he be smoking lol!
Post # 11
I think they know me well enough but at the same time they tend to go a little wild some times. I may just tell them that I don’t really want to go bar hopping all that much and no strippers. Other than that just surprise me.
I think if I get those 2 points across then I will be able to let go of the reigns a little and let them have some fun.
Post # 12
I would just verbally tell them the kind of party you’d like casually and very clearly tell them what would be out of bounds for you (like strippers). Try not to sound overbearing, they are supposed to be throwing this party for you. They’ll want to do something you’d like, don’t worry! 🙂
Post # 13
Agree, don’t make a list. If you don’t want strippers talk to your best friend and tell her that its not a situation you’ll want to be in a prefer if they refrain from making those plans.