(Closed) Bachelorette Etiquette Questions

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
46613 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

legalbee11:  I would do an approximation of the costs of any items that they cannot pay with their individual credit cards and collect that fee in advance. You can always refund the girls if expenses are less. If costs are actually more than estimated, you will have a lesser amount at risk of never being paid to you. Collecting money from 15 people after the fact is liable to leave you holding the bag.

Most restaurants will at least give you a breakdown for individual diners if they won’t do separate checks.



Post # 3
805 posts
Busy bee

legalbee11:  I would definitely total up the costs and ask for the money upfront first – it’s much harder getting money from people after the fact (I speak with the voice of bitter experience!). You can always refund any excess after.

Post # 4
963 posts
Busy bee

Like PP said, get the money upfront – don’t pay and ask for it later. That almost never ends well. 

Could you pay for snacks and have the alcohol be BYOB? 

Post # 5
1772 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

The girls all pitching in for alcohol and snacks in addition to the other costs you mentioned while you cover decor and games seems good. I did this as Maid/Matron of Honor and gave estimated range of costs and then asked all for costs to be sent to me by check, paypal, or put into my bank account about 2 weeks beforehand. Girls who needed more time let me know and that was fine. I refunded a girl who ended up not being able to make it. 

Post # 6
1097 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

As far as I know, usually the Wedding Party only chip in to pay for big things. In your case, you could split it 4 or 5 or however many ways depending on how many bridesmaids there are for the house rental, decorations, and snacks/alcohol stuff from Costco. I would say everyone could pay their own way for dinner and the class.

Post # 8
217 posts
Helper bee

legalbee11:  Not rude at all. If I were invited to a Bach like that (weekend rental, dinner, alcohol, etc.) and I wasn’t in the Bridal Party I would be expecting to pay my way plus a portion of the Bride’s as PPs said. 

Post # 9
703 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i agree with pp, id have everyone pay their own portion (and factor bride’s into that mix as well, so she isnt paying for anything).. and i’d def try to get the $$ first, like someone else said- if there is extra $ leftover you can always dish it back out at the event! much easier and you wont be stuck paying for all of it.. sounds like fun!!

Post # 10
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would factor in the Costco run to the price of the house, along with decor type items. That way everyone sends you a check for that amount right away. Everything else I would split as you go – I.e split the dinner tab by 14 girls or whatever. 

I’ve done that for a few bachelorette parties and it always seems to be fine.

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