Post # 1
So I am Maid/Matron of Honor for my friends wedding coming up this year. We are planning the Bach and thinking of renting a house for a fun weekend with bridal party and close friends. My question is what costs do I cover and what costs can everyone cover themselves. This is what I was thinking:
-House rental: everyone pays own way
-Resturant Dinner: everyone pays own way (I might put it on my card and ask everyone for their share later)
-Wine tasting/cooking class/other potential events: everyone pays own way
-Decorations/games/gift bags (shirts, cups, etc): I pay for
-Costco run (for alcohol and snacks for the house): now this is where I am stuck – at past Bach’s this has been factored into the cost everyone owes and split between the girls. How should I go about handling this?
For clarity, there will probably be 15 girls in attendance so costs likely won’t be too high. Everyone invited can afford it (I’ve discussed with them all potential costs) and the Bride is VERY cost concious and actually feels really badly and doesn’t want us to spend much money on her (but we love her and want to plus fun girls weekend!)
So is this break down of me covering/people paying their own way okay? Also I know some people oppose an all weekend house rental Bach but please trust me this has been run by all the girls and everyone is more than okay with it. Thank you!
Post # 2
legalbee11: I would do an approximation of the costs of any items that they cannot pay with their individual credit cards and collect that fee in advance. You can always refund the girls if expenses are less. If costs are actually more than estimated, you will have a lesser amount at risk of never being paid to you. Collecting money from 15 people after the fact is liable to leave you holding the bag.
Most restaurants will at least give you a breakdown for individual diners if they won’t do separate checks.
Post # 3
legalbee11: I would definitely total up the costs and ask for the money upfront first – it’s much harder getting money from people after the fact (I speak with the voice of bitter experience!). You can always refund any excess after.
Post # 4
Like PP said, get the money upfront – don’t pay and ask for it later. That almost never ends well.
Could you pay for snacks and have the alcohol be BYOB?
Post # 5
The girls all pitching in for alcohol and snacks in addition to the other costs you mentioned while you cover decor and games seems good. I did this as Maid/Matron of Honor and gave estimated range of costs and then asked all for costs to be sent to me by check, paypal, or put into my bank account about 2 weeks beforehand. Girls who needed more time let me know and that was fine. I refunded a girl who ended up not being able to make it.
Post # 6
As far as I know, usually the Wedding Party only chip in to pay for big things. In your case, you could split it 4 or 5 or however many ways depending on how many bridesmaids there are for the house rental, decorations, and snacks/alcohol stuff from Costco. I would say everyone could pay their own way for dinner and the class.
Post # 7
I don’t think the other bridesmaids would be comfortable paying for everyone else’s trip. I sort of thought that was more of a bridal shower thing…do you think guests will find it rude if when I lay out the cost it includes the house rental and other activities? At every Bach I’ve ever been too I paid my entire way including the brides portion.
Post # 8
legalbee11: Not rude at all. If I were invited to a Bach like that (weekend rental, dinner, alcohol, etc.) and I wasn’t in the Bridal Party I would be expecting to pay my way plus a portion of the Bride’s as PPs said.
Post # 9
i agree with pp, id have everyone pay their own portion (and factor bride’s into that mix as well, so she isnt paying for anything).. and i’d def try to get the $$ first, like someone else said- if there is extra $ leftover you can always dish it back out at the event! much easier and you wont be stuck paying for all of it.. sounds like fun!!
Post # 10
I would factor in the Costco run to the price of the house, along with decor type items. That way everyone sends you a check for that amount right away. Everything else I would split as you go – I.e split the dinner tab by 14 girls or whatever.
I’ve done that for a few bachelorette parties and it always seems to be fine.
Post # 11
Tbmtb: rachie576: StephanieElise: Skittles131: Shkragoldfish: MrsGatito: cece_intheuk: julies1949: Thanks for the advice and suggestions everyone! I am usually the person who says “oh everyone will pay I’ll just collect after” and then ends up slightly bitter towards those who don’t pay – better to get it all upfront to avoid any unnecessary unpleasentness. Thanks again!