Post # 1
The Bach party is the same day as the shower, so convenient! We’re going dancing at a gay club and then getting a hotel suite (hopefully…) to party hard in.
Problem is, the shower/bach party is May 22nd. Invites for the shower haven’t even gone out yet (GRRRRR?!!?!) and I am inviting other people to the bach party that are not in the bridal party obviously. I know that this is ok.
I have 6 BM’s and 3 extra friends invited to the party. So that makes a total of 10 people. My Maid/Matron of Honor (who is seriously slacking and very hard to get ahold of) has not booked a room yet. Besides that, she hasn’t asked the other girls for help at all so no one knows what is going on.
Sorry for the rant- my REAL question-
Maid/Matron of Honor asked if the other 3 girls who were not pitching in for the hotel could NOT stay there. Is that rude? Do I have any say in this? Should I tell her to lighten up?
Post # 3
Well, I think technically your friend isn’t late YET sending out invitations. Usually you send out invitations roughly 30 days before the event, so your Maid/Matron of Honor still has a couple days before she has to get invites out.
I think it’s perfectly reasonable for your Maid/Matron of Honor not to want 3 girls who are NOT chipping in for the hotel room to stay there. It’s not fair to your Maid/Matron of Honor or the other girls that ARE chipping in to have to pay for these extra people. If they are unwilling to chip in, they shouldn’t get to stay for free. Only the bride should get off the hook for having to pay for things. Plus 10 people is a lot and your Maid/Matron of Honor will likely have to book bigger rooms or multiple rooms to fit all these people – if three aren’t contributing, that’s going to put a lot of extra burden on the other six ladies, and that’s not fair to them.
I DO think your Maid/Matron of Honor probably needs to get a move on booking a room, but she probably wants to confirm who’s going and contributing before she does so. Often when you book a room, you’re charged at that time, and she wants to make sure she’s going to get paid back. I’m the Maid/Matron of Honor in a wedding and I didn’t book until I had confirmation that the five girls I was inviting actually WERE going and were willing to pay me back.
Post # 4
I agree with the above poster, why should she have to cover the costs of hotel rooms for girls who aren’t chipping in at all? 10 people can’t all stay in one hotel room, adding three people probably means you have to book an entire other room. What’s the argument for these girls not having to pay?
I would be slow booking hotel rooms if I thought I might not get reimbursed for my costs too. I think you should sit down with your Maid/Matron of Honor, discuss exactly who is going, so you can determine how many rooms you need, and what the cost per person would be. Then spread the word to the potential attendees so they can give an definitive yes or no and your Maid/Matron of Honor can book the rooms and be reimbursed for her costs.
Post # 5
If some of the girls don’t stay at the hotel, they shouldn’t get to stay there for free! That is totally not cool.
It sounds to me like she’s trying to finish planning out the details before she officially books everything.
It sounds to me like all 10 people know WHEN the shower/party is, just haven’t received an official invitation. That isn’t a big deal–maybe she’s doing an E-vite or something? But as long as they know when the party is, I wouldn’t stress about invites.
Post # 6
Are ppl thinking that the bridal party has to pay for the enitre bach party, like a shower or something? I think whoever goes to your bachelorette should be paying their share. The three extra friends should be OK with this, if they want to go.
Post # 7
Ok! I don’t care either way, it’s going to be weird telling the other girls that “we are leaving the club now to go drink in our hotel room, but you’re not invited.”
…. How would I approach THAT?
WAIT. I shouldn’t be doing this at all. Grrr
I’m worried that Maid/Matron of Honor won’t talk to the 3 other girls who are not in the Bridal Party, therefore, leaving them out of the loop- as she has not even talked to th 5 other BM’s about anyhting and we are a month away from the shower/party day.
Post # 8
No, i don’t think it’s “you’re not invited”…but I would say that if they stay over, you guys have every right in the morning to say, “hey you need to chip in” and then the Maid/Matron of Honor can distribute a ‘refund’ back to the other girls. It’s a pain, but maybe they WILL change their mind last minute. Where do they expect to sleep? Do they live nearby or something?
No, you shouldn’t really be messing with this, but if you’re anything like me, you can’t help but get your hands into the logistics of everything.