Post # 1
So my little sister/MOH has asked for my bachelorette party guest list and there is one person I’m struggling with. Long story short, do I need to invite my fiance’s brother’s girlfriend?
Some background: Fiance and I are 30–oldest siblings in both our family and the first to get married in our generation so no precedents here. I’m having a relatively small (for these days) bachelorette–just inviting bridal party and close friends for 12 girls total. Didn’t even think to include the brother’s girlfriend–she is much younger (23) and we are not close (and if I’m being honest, I don’t like her). However, FI’s family is very close and live nearby–we do end up doing a lot of family activities where the girlfriend is involved. At a recent family event I was talking with Future Sister-In-Law (who is in the bridal party) about the bachelorette, and there was a bit of awkwardness because the girlfriend was there.
If all the ladies coming were my age I don’t think this would be an issue, but both my sister and Future Sister-In-Law are 23/24 like the girlfriend. At the end of the day, I just don’t want to hurt FI’s brother’s feelings by not inviting his girlfriend. They’ve been dating for about 3 years, but they don’t live together since they’re so young and still in grad school. I’d rather not have her there because she is incredibly annoying, but also don’t want to start family drama. FI’s mom is really cool but also a little nuts, so if she was irked by this it could become a “thing.”
What do you guys think?
Post # 2
You don’t NEED to invite her, but it might be nice to offer. She might still decline as well. But if you really do not want her, you certainly don’t have to.
Post # 3
Ew I know the feeling! I would invite her though to save some drama and just cross my fingers and toes she won’t/can’t come!!! And hey maybe she would be fun if she did come.
Post # 4
The polite thing to do would be to invite her. However, you don’t HAVE to do anything you don’t want to do.
Post # 5
I agree with PP. You don’t need too, but if it will cause a lot of family drama, or really hurt feelings, you might want to offer….. Since they have been dating for so long, it seems like she might be viewed as part of the family? Ultimately, it is up to you though. (Is she close to your FI’s sister who will be going? If so, she might talk with her most of the night anyway. 12 people seems like a lot to me, so even if she does go, you won’t be stuck talking to her all night or something)
Post # 6
I also wanted to add: When FIs brother got married, Fiance was the Bridesmaid or Best Man but I was not invited to the bachelorette. I didn’t feel slighted what so ever – we aren’t that close (similar to your situation, they are older, but I would have been the only young one).
eta – and we were dating for like 6 or 7 years at that point, so way longer haha.
Post # 7
No. I always thought bachelerotte parties are suppose to be close friends. Sure it’s always nice to extend an offer but if you really don’t like her, then don’t invite her and don’t feel bad about it.
Post # 8
Thanks everyone for the responses. I tend to agree that it’s probably best (and kindest) to invite her and just hope she doesn’t come. We’re doing it in Vegas but we both live in the NYC area (most of my friends live in California), so it would be a big and costly effort for her to come and I kind of think she just ~isn’t that into me anyway~.