Bachelorette is turning into a cliquey drama mess

posted 11 months ago in Parties
Post # 2
Member
436 posts
Helper bee

If it’s your bacholorette, why didn’t you just take over the planning. “Girls, I would really love to go away to the vineyards for a weekend and maybe sneak in a spa session….let me know your price range and i’ll find us something!” Remember, you’re the bride, for a lot of this, you SHOULD get to call the final shots. It’s your one time to do it like you want to.

Otherwise, maybe everytime conversation heads into baby territory, remind the girls that it’s your bacholorette and it would be nice if everyone could talk about something that you could at least join in with.

But yes, I get girls and their hierarchy and it sucks, i’ve never understood them and therefore never really knew how to partcipate whenever I accidentally got myself involved in hierarchical friendships. I’ve generally escaped it by not joining in with large girl groups and just hanging out with my female friends one on one or in VERY small groups. 

Post # 4
Member
436 posts
Helper bee

stunnerrunner :  Best of luck, I’ve learned to speak up more over the years and to stop letting people walk all over me, used to be terrified of interacting with women, just because of prior bad experiences but not all women stay stuck in high-school phase of cliques…But you won’t know who those are until you reach out. 

Also, in general terms, that’s what friendships are made up of, it can’t always be one person (or one side) getting their way, it’s a give and take and this might be a good time to test that boundary and see if some of these women are interested in actually being friends, and those that aren’t well…at least now you know. Also, remind them that this IS your bachelorette’s, ultimately it’s about celebrating you and about the new part of your life that’s about to begin….

Post # 5
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

that sounds really sucky. yuck, i tend to steer clear of those types of women. is the entire group cliquey like that or are there a few women you get along with who don’t get caught up in all that? could you ask them to accompany you to do a few activities you really want to do? female friendships without the hierarchy are possible…quality over quantity bee 🙂

Post # 6
Member
5 posts
Newbee

I feel like I could have written this about some of my friends. I don’t have children and I do not understand why people would want to talk about the awful parts of childbirth at a party. I encountered this a few weeks ago and luckily I could excuse myself once I realised it wasn’t stopping anytime soon! My fiance doesn’t get why this sometimes upsets me but I always say that it’s as bad as them all talking in a different language that I can’t speak. I would never talk at length about something when 1 person is left out. I feel that if they are so desperate to talk about being a mother then share stories about what their kids are up to now. At least I would have a frame of reference. The ironic part of this group of friends is that it usually starts with how glad they are to have a night away from the children!

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