bachelorette or bridal shower?

posted 3 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
378 posts
Helper bee

Nope! Two different things 🙂 I had both for my first wedding.

A bachelorette party is typically where you and your friends go out (sometimes it can be a weekend away at a beach house, sometime it’s just a night out) and have a good time. In my case, my bridesmaids surprised me because I wasn’t going to have one and they took me to Dave and Buster’s after the rehearsal dinner (the day before the day before the wedding.)

A bridal shower is where your friends and family celebrate you, the bride, getting married and is traditionally a ‘calmer’ event, typically a lunch or bbq. People usually bring you gifts and cards and it’s more about you – some people might bring you lingerie for the honeymoon, others might give you something more girly. It’s a special moment to really just celebrate you, as a woman, getting married.

Timing wise they can be whenever you want, but I had my bridal shower the month before the wedding, and, like I said, the bachelorette party a few days before the wedding (friday, wedding was sunday.) A lot of people have their bachelorette party the weekend before the wedding; my friend got a beach house for a weekend and we went two weeks before.

Post # 3
13903 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

They are two different events, like the PP outlined.

These are not events that you plan and host yourself.  These are events that others offer to throw in your honor (usually bridesmaids, MOB/MOG often help with the shower). 

They can be held at any point, but the shower is usually a month or two before the wedding.  The bachelorette is usually much closer to the wedding, sometimes being a few days before to correspond with people’s travel schedules for the wedding, if there are traveling guests you’d like to include.

Post # 4
29 posts
  • Wedding: October 2018

Bachelorette Party is a party where you spend some time letting lose and celebrating your upcoming nuptuals with your bridal party. The stereotype is to go out to bars or night clubs but ive seen many people do weekends at resorts or retreats. My Maid/Matron of Honor (my little sister) is planning mine and i know she is going to be planning it for a weekend 2 or 3 weeks before my wedding, however as far as the activities she’s kept me in the dark, im a very low key relaxed person who really like wine so i have a feeling she is planning a wine tasting trip. Think of it as a GNO right before the wedding. Eat food, drink, and have fun with your friends. 

A bridal shower is a more formal event than the bach and is put on by your bridal party, a parent or an In-law. These are often hosted at a home, restauraunt, or small event center. Its a  traditionally a women only event (unless you decide on a co-ed shower). Everyone who is invited to the bridal shower should be invited to the wedding otherwise it looks like a gift grab. My bridal shower is hosted by my mother at a local catering business, mostly family with a few of my friends being invited. Its much more intimate than my crazy 400 person wedding (my Fiance and I have massive families) itenerary is mingling, food, games, cake, gifts, saying goodbyes. It will be a month and a half before my wedding. I’ve seen friends and family member do it more formal than others. When i threw my childhood best friends bridal shower (i was her MOH) i did a Kentuky Derby theme at my fathers ranch with sandwhiches and finger foods. It was really relaxed and I didn’t have to spend a whole lot of money on it but it al came together perfectly. 


Hope this helps Bee!

Post # 6
232 posts
Helper bee

As PPs have said definitely different things. I’m getting married in September. My Mother and Mother-In-Law are planning my shower for late June. it will be at my Mom’s house, catered in brunch type foods. My friends, family and FIs family are all invited.

My Maid/Matron of Honor is planning my bachelorette party. That will the last weekend of July (kind of a tradition between me and my bridesmaids, we’ve down bachelorette parties for 2 of them the last 2 years that same weekend). I know she rented a house in Cape Cod for the weekend, 10 of my closest girlfriends will be attending. I’m sure we will drink and go out, that’s what my crowd likes.

I know in New England timing of these events often goes along with the weather. One of my gfs had her wedding in Novemeber but we did her Bachelorette in July to take advantage of the nice weather. Her shower wasn’t until October because it was inside so season didn’t matter as much. Typically we try to plan showers 3 months out and bachelorettes 1-2 months out to spread out events and travel for everyone.

Post # 7
5404 posts
Bee Keeper

View original reply
faithschad :  since your location says you’re in the US, yes, those are 2 different things. In my circle, the friends give the bachelorette about a month to one week before the wedding day. Usually friends are gathered and going out together at night for appetizers and drinks then dancing. The family gives a bridal shower anywhere between 3 to 1 month before the wedding day. This is usually a lunchtime or afternoon event and you receive gifts and sometimes play games. It’s a toned down event compared to the bachelorette party.


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