Bachelorette parties

posted 2 months ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 46
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

Some other ideas that may be similar to Mexico but cheaper are Miami or Key West.  At the end of the day you should do what you want to do.  Everyone has different budgets, and you will never be able to please everyone.  If some of the girls can’t come you’ll just have to be understanding.

For my bachelorette I would’ve loved to do a bigger trip but I knew that some of my friends wouldn’t have been able to afford it.  I cared more about having everyone there so I chose a weekend spot that was 1.5 hours away.  We do all live close together though.

It’s also easier if all the girls are friends with each other.  Nobody wants to spend a lot of money, travel, and take days off work to hang out with people she barely knows.  But if everyone is friends it can be a blast!

Post # 48
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee

bride1993 :  Where are you finding good deals to Key West?  I just trying to plan a trip to Key West and for 3 nights it was going to cost almost $3500 for just hotel and flights.  I’ve had to fly into FLL and then drive in order to make it affordable.  Flights from up north are $600-800.

And Miami is also pretty expensive IMO.  Hotels are typically $350-400/night.

Mexico is a cheap trip.  $1200 for flight, hotel and all inclusive food and booze is pretty inexpensive.  However, I think there are even cheaper options as SO and I took his kids and it was $2500 total for all 4 of us (hotel, all inclusive food/booze and flights), but we went during the week.  

Post # 49
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

sharpshooter :  can get flights to Key West for under $400 from NYC and renting an airbnb for either place is a lot cheaper than hotels

Post # 50
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee

bride1993 :  huh.  It just must be more expensive to fly out of Chicago.   

Post # 52
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee

 And hotels/airbnb/vrbos were all so expensive.  Maybe I was looking in the wrong area as we wanted to be close to Duval Street.

Post # 53
Member
11611 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

skatergirl :   “ok to be absolutely fair here, everyone was already planning on going on the hiking trip, which meant they were paying airfare, and the cost of the trip. Everyone lives out of town so it was never going to be an $80/each bachelorette party.”

Says who? To start with, it’s very inappropriate to plan a party in your own honor. Personally, I’d never consider anything other than a night on the town with local friends and would not attend a destination bachelorette. The fact that someone may take exotic regular vacations of their own is totally irrelevant. They get to plan and organize their own trip, to to a destination of their own choice, within their own budget at a time that they choose, with the people they choose. An expectation that people will be happy to spend $$$$ to come from all over the country to attend a destination, not even local to you, bachelorette party is, to me, outrageous. In your place, I’d never impose upon people who already have to spend a lot to get to your wedding, no matter what they spend on themselves with their own hard earned money. Unfortunately, once you tag something with a label like bachelorette, you are putting pressure on people to attend. 

I know women who can easily afford nice vacations of their own. Privately, and without exception, they resent over the top destination bachelorette extravaganzas but feel they have to make the effort, spend money they don’t want to spend, and go. I’m sure the brides in question mistakenly believe the same thing as you, that everyone is thrilled about it.  Of course they make the most of it in the moment, but the truth is that the whole thing is out of control. 

Post # 54
Member
2899 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

I’m wondering about the inexpensive Airbnb’s in key west as well… we were thinking about going and everything I found was SO expensive, so we decided to put that trip off for a bit.

sharpshooter :  

Post # 55
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee

futuremrs2020 :  Thank you.  I thought I was going nuts.  I spent hours trying to figure out a way to make the long weekend somewhat justifiable and I could not when I knew that we’d be doing a ton of eating and drinking and wanted to have spending money to do other things.  

We have put it off until we have more time and can fly into FLL and then maybe slowly drive down to Key West and stop in different Keys on the way down.  It will still be expensive, but we’d be able to make it more of a vacation.

Post # 56
Member
2359 posts
Buzzing bee

I have one more thing to say on the subject of Destination Bachelorette Parties….

I have been to many of these and none of those times has it been an all expenses paid trip for the bride.  The bride will pay for her flights and accomodations and the majority of her expenses.  The only expenses the other guests chip in for the bride is the actual “bachelorette night out.”  Typically that consists of dinner/drinks and some show/bar hopping/spa thing and maybe a small gift/card (no more than $10-20 and it is always optional).  

The last one I went on, the groom paid for a day trip on an 80 ft yacht with full bar and breakfast and lunch served.  Plus they put together a swag bag with tons of fun goodies for us.  It was an amazing trip.

 

 

Post # 59
Hostess
3767 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

weddingmaven :  I know women who can easily afford nice vacations of their own. Privately, and without exception, they resent over the top destination bachelorette extravaganzas but feel they have to make the effort, spend money they don’t want to spend, and go. I’m sure the brides in question mistakenly believe the same thing as you, that everyone is thrilled about it.  Of course they make the most of it in the moment, but the truth is that the whole thing is out of control. 

This!!! OTT bachelorette trips are common in my social circle as well and I’ve bowed out of the last two because even though they sounded fun, I hated that someone thought it was ok to spend my money without asking me.  I found myself getting resentful every time a new excursion or reserved room was added to the itinerary and I was not the only one.  FWIW, my friends are scattered all over and my Maid/Matron of Honor planned a destination bach for me that was very affordable for our circle (~200 plus the cost of travel – some of us carpooled, a few flew in).  I would ask each person you’d like to attend what her budget is and go from there (PLEASE don’t ask in a group text).  If they’re all cool with taking a $1200 trip, then one of your girls can definitely plan it! 

ETA: None of the brides have paid for anything except transportation for the bachelorette weekends I’ve been to.  

Leave a comment


Find Amazing Vendors