Bachelorette parties

posted 1 month ago in Parties
Post # 16
Member
6845 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Honestly, it disgusts me what they have become. A weekend trip requiring days off work, accomodations and activities is so OTT, greedy and selfish. It’s not like people aren’t also spending time money and effort on the WEDDING. But nooo, you need a last hurrah and a week of people fawning over your changing marital status. 

eta – I love girls NIGHTS though. One day/night. Short. Sweet. Inexpensive. Sleeping in my own bed. No time off work. 

Post # 17
Member
6845 posts
Busy Beekeeper

princessmiaofgenovia :   I set a maximum per person budget for the weekend, which I decided based on what I knew my circle would be able to afford… 2 have since asked to come for the main day on the Saturday as they don’t fancy the whole weekend, which is absolutely fine with me. 

This is so gross. You set their budget for them, told them they could afford it, but obviously it was still unrealistic and too high, as 2 are only coming for “the main day”. Why wouldn’t you just do “the main day” as the party? Why the extra unnecessary costs for everyone else?

Post # 18
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2020

I definitely think ANY bacehlorette party should be fun in the bride’s eyes because it should be tailored to what she wants. My girls are offering to throw me one, and I told them I’d love nothing more than a fun weekend closeby for a good old-fashioned slumber party, and that I would love to have a murder mystery dinner game because I’ve always wanted to do one. So that’s what we’re doing! Low-key but should be a blast, which is exactly my style!

Post # 19
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2020

Honestly, modern bachelorette parties are really offputting for me. I don’t want to buy a plane ticket, take days off work, pay for a hotel room and chip in for someone else’s, get buzzed on overpriced drinks and watch someone get dry humped for a whole weekend. I also think it’s pretty tacky to plan it yourself. 

One local night that doesn’t get too crazy sounds perfect to me. 

Post # 20
Member
209 posts
Helper bee

xraychick01 :  I wasn’t planning on having one, I didn’t have a traditional wedding so I just didn’t think we’d do any of pre wedding parties but my friends planned on for me and I’m so glad they did! We rented a cabin in a town that is only a few hour drive away and stayed for two nights. This was over a year ago and we still talk about doing it over because it was THE best girls trip.

I’ve also been to some that required a plane ride, expensive hotel, etc and those were still fun as well, I really love an excuse for a girls trip!

Post # 21
Member
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: London, UK

jellybellynelly :  sorry, you misunderstood which is my fault because I wasn’t clear and not because of your interpretation. The budget was a group decision – we all chatted about this and then based on people’s thoughts I set the budget as the lowest price that was suggested. And the people coming for the day and not the weekend is due to the fact that they are either trying for a baby at the moment or know they will have a small baby at the time of the weekend away. One of the girls just doesn’t much like being away from home so would have only come for a day even if it had been a totally free weekend. 

But regardless, I don’t have any concerns about my hen do because the people invited are my best friends, my mum and some close family friends (my mum’s age) who I grew up with. If they didn’t want to come they wouldn’t come, but as it happened every single invitee RSVP’d yes straight away. Ultimately it’s a friends countryside retreat that happens to be a couple of months before my wedding.

I understand that different countries and cultures do weddings and wedding related activities very differently. This sort of thing is normal over here, and actually more extravagant things are very normal too. My friend has just got back from 4 nights in Spain that cost her over £1,000 for someone’s hen do. 

But I don’t disagree with the sentiments of what you said, because in terms of the hen do I went to earlier in the year that I didn’t enjoy, we were TOLD the budget, we got no say in the activities (my bridesmaids are consulting with everyone else on the guestlist about what we should all do that weekend, I’m the only one who will be surprised) and the costs actually went up just beforehand when we were suddenly given 2 dress codes and told to bring our own alcohol. More fool me for going I guess, but it was the first one I had been invited to and I didn’t realise how it would spiral. I have basically planned how I want mine to be based on what the opposites of that one was 😂

Oh! And I also just remembered the one I went to that I didn’t like was a 4 hour drive away (for everyone) and they gave a start time of 7pm, which to be involved in the catered meal (which we were told we needed to be at because it was for the bride’s 30th birthday) we needed to be there pronto. We also were told that cost an extra £50 on top of everything else we were paying for the weekend. So that’s why I want the Friday night of mine to be super chilled, because people were made to feel like they needed to use annual leave from work to take part in my friend’s weekend and I didn’t like that. And as I said, this is all normal and socially acceptable here, which makes it harder for some people to feel they can say no. It is messed up. Another reason I have insisted I and the other attendees have a proper input in mine. 

 

Post # 22
Member
569 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - Massachusetts

I think the destination ones are ridiculous. Like why do you need to go away for 3 days and party? The last two I went too, which were recently, one was a male strip club and the other was just a night out in Boston. They’re not for me and I don’t really want one when my time comes.

Post # 23
Member
77 posts
Worker bee

I’m obviously in the minority here, but I love destination bachelorette parties! I’ve been to four, and I had a blast at all of them. I like getting to know the bride’s other close friends before the wedding, and the parties usually feel like a pre-game for the wedding. And each of the four parties was in a city to which I had never been, so it was fun to explore a new place. I always feel like the in-town, one-night parties end up being kind of cheesy or not really feeling like a bachelorette party. I’d actually rather go to a destination bachelorette party than a destination wedding.

Post # 24
Member
826 posts
Busy bee

I didn’t have one and didn’t miss it. My girlfriends and I get together a few times a year, and I enjoy those times. I don’t enjoy being the center of attention, and I don’t enjoy being “the bridge” between my school friends, new friends, sister in law etc, so I was just as happy to do without. 

My best friend had one and while I enjoyed it, the Maid/Matron of Honor was a flutter brain, and made a bunch of last miute bungles/changes which were super stressful, so it ended up being more expensive than I ideally would have liked, plus the bride opened her gifts at the “panty party”, basically went white and then went to bed at 11pm. 

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