- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2014
FI and I are 27, and I am the last of my girlfriends from home to marry. In fact, by the time the wedding rolls around, of my four best girlfriends, three will have children ranging from basically newborn to almost three.
In contrast, we currently live in community where we are almost the first of our friends to marry, and everyone is a long ways off from thinking about babies. Not a good thing or a bad thing either way, just a differnet lifestyle.
My Maid of Honor (in my current community) and my Matron of Honor (back home) are working on planning my bachelorette party. This week, they both asked me to clarify what I would like from the party. My Matron asked if I wanted to do something low-key at someone’s house, or something more fancy. I said I was looking more for a sort of sophisticated girl’s night out, if that makes sense, but maybe we could end the end curled up watching Disney movies. In the past, we’ve usually done a long evening with dinner, a few drinks, and then ending with low-key movie watching.
Last night my Maid and I were hanging out, and she told me that, in discussing possibilities with my Matron, she was informed that anything lasting more than two hours was too long to ask anyone to be away from their babies. Now, I totally understand for my good friend who will have a month old baby at that point, but for the one whose baby will be nearly three, I am a little hurt.
To add to this, when we were back in state for Christmas, my Matron cancelled on our day to visit our florist/baker/venue because her son has been on a weird nap schedule and she wanted him to be able to be home to lay down. I am lucky if I get back 3 times a year, and while I understand that sleep for a toddler is vital, I was disappointed I didn’t get to spend more time with her.
In no way, shape or form do I feel like I should be more important than my friends’ babies. They are my little honorary nephews and neices, and I love them to pieces. But I am left feeling very unimportant through all of this.
I guess my question is, is this just something I should roll with? I know that life post-baby is very different, but not being there myself I can’t speak to that mindset. If this is just the way it is and I should adjust, then I’d like to figure that out now so I can adjust me expectations.