(Closed) Bachelorette party

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I understand, it’s a tricky predicament because you want your bridesmaids to enjoy themselves but you should be comfortable and satisfied as well. Ultimately it is your Bachelorette party and I’m sure that your friends want you to have a good time as much as they do so talk to them. Maybe get everyone together and communicate your doubts over it and see if there’s an alternate activity that everyone will enjoy mutually? Many voices are stronger than one and hopefully that will get through to your maid of honour. Your friends should be able to respect your wishes it’s not an outrageous thing that your asking for. Best of luck! Xo

Post # 3
Member
9439 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I would be blunt – tell her again, if she makes it into a joke say “No, I need you to hear me and understand me. I don’t want strippers. If there are strippers I’ll leave. I want us all to have a good time but please respect this request.”

Post # 4
Member
409 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - State Park

I was in a similar boat. I didn’t even want a bachelorette, period, and one started to be planned for me. I was horrified and had to get at least a little control over the night  

So I thought about what I did want to do (go to a show), found a reasonably priced comedy show at the nice theater in town, and sent a link to one of the people I knew was planning and said, “What do you think if we do this for the bachelorette?” 

I understand that tickets have been purchased and I think there are plans for a kind of early dinner ahead of time. 

So, planting the seed of what I actually wanted seemed to work MUCH better than stating what I didn’t want. I’d try that. Instead of saying you don’t want a stripper, say what you DO want instead. 

Post # 5
Member
9913 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Tell her bluntly.  “I am not joking, Sue, I really don’t want strippers.  It’s not a night I will enjoy.”  This is your friend, after all — she should respect your wishes.

Post # 6
Member
1745 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

I agree that it could help to come up with an alternative of what you do want to do, rather than just saying what you don’t want to do. But I also think you have a right to say what hikingbride suggested. The party is for you, not for anyone else, so if you aren’t going to enjoy it, it shouldn’t be happening.

Post # 7
Member
4775 posts
Honey bee

You just tell her again. 

Also, bachelorette parties aren’t mandatory.  You are within your rights to decline the offer of someone throwing you one.  So if she is only willing to host a bachelorette party that involves strippers and is unwilling to host another kind of party, you are free to say that you are thankful for her offer to host but you will pass on this offer since you aren’t interested in that activity.  That will mean you may not get a bachelorette party unless someone else offers to host something for you that is more agreeable to you.

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