Post # 1
Ladies I need some advice on how to handle a runaway bm in terms of cost. I’ve been a long time stalker of the weddingbee boards but this is the first time I actually need some help!
I have one Maid/Matron of Honor (my 18 year old sister) and 4 BMs. Bridesmaid or Best Man N suggested having two bachelorettes – one my sister could host in our hometown (dinner and a sleepover) and another fun weekend for the older girls and put together by Bridesmaid or Best Man N. I thought this was a great idea until last night.
I asked Bridesmaid or Best Man N if plans were made so I could request vacay time if needed. She responded by asking how much I was willing to spend (!) I assumed this meant some travel and told her about $300 which would cover a plane ticket from the eastcoast to Chicago (all the BMs and my family are in the midwest). But then she asked if I didn’t have to travel would I put the $300 towards everyone else’s plane ticket to come east! I was totally shocked! Has anyone ever heard of this? I told her I was willing to pay for my own travel costs but I didn’t really want to pay anyone else’s (especially since I wasn’t planning this!) I told Fiance and he totally agreed, but for some reason I feel guilty about not ponying up money for them. I told Bridesmaid or Best Man N we could just have a party in Chicago or skip it and just do the one bach my Maid/Matron of Honor is planning, but she didn’t like the sound of that…advice on how to handle this? And am I in the wrong for not wanting to help pay for the other girls?
Post # 3
I don’t think you are being unreasonable at all! Could you guys just do something extra in your hometown? Go out the night before? If Chicago isn’t to expensive for everyone I would say do that if your Bridesmaid or Best Man wants to do something special and seperate. Your Bridesmaid or Best Man shouldn’t be planning a party that they can’t afford and shouldn’t ask you to foot the bill for it!
Post # 4
You are not in the wrong. I’ve never heard of a bride being responsible for bridesmaids’ travel costs. That’s ridiculous. I’m a believer that airfare should be covered by each individual traveler. It’s completely unfair to expect you to cover those costs.
Post # 5
oh good! I hadn’t heard of brides paying for their BMs before, so it sort of threw me for a loop…I think I’ll have to talk to the other BMs to see what everyone is up for and maybe get more involved with the planning. Def sounds like nothing is planned yet but things are already way over budget!
Post # 6
That seems strange to me. I wouldn’t want to pay for people to travel to me, especially if I was planning to travel to them. Why does she want them all to come to you? Is Chicago not an option for some reason?
Post # 7
No, you are not being unreasonable. I think that is rude of her to ask that and doesn’t make sence logistcs wise. If all of them are pretty close why have them come there when you can just go there?
Post # 8
I would be pretty bothered being like “You’re throwing a celebration for me! Great! I can spend up to $300 to see all my friends. Oh, wait, I’m FUNDING the party you’re throwing me?”
Nu-uh. You’re right here.
Post # 9
The bachelorette is meant to be in your honor, thrown for you, so asking you to contribute to other peoples’ travel is totally unreasonable.