Post # 1
I’m a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a wedding. There is also a Maid/Matron of Honor and another Bridesmaid or Best Man (she is the bride’s 15 yo cousin.) The Maid/Matron of Honor has planned the bachelorette party and bridal shower for mid May. The Maid/Matron of Honor has decided the bachelorette party is going to be dinner at a resteraunt her family owns and then bar hopping on a party bus. I sent the Maid/Matron of Honor a message yesterday asking if she needed help with anything. I got a reply today saying that she was meaning to contact me. “If you’d be able to chip in like $200 for food/decorations/and the bus. I want to make this party awesome because the bride does so much for everyone else.” I am totally fine chipping in for food and decotations. While I can afford to pay $200, Darling Husband and I are saving up for some house repairs this summer. Also, Maid/Matron of Honor never asked me until I reached out to her what I would be able to pay. Would it be wrong of me to suggest all those attending the party pitch in for the bus, while Maid/Matron of Honor and I chip in for the food and decorations?
Post # 2
It doesn’t hurt to ask if you’re not comfortable paying that much. It sounds like either she is picking up more of the tab or going to ask people to pitch in because I think party buses are pretty expensive, but I could be wrong.
Post # 3
In all the bachelorette parties I’ve been to, the organisers figured out the costs and divided it equally between the girls to pay (except the bride of course).
Post # 4
Swebs14: She really should have not planned it all and then requested $200. Since you are a bridesmaid, she should have asked you your thoughts and budget price. I would pay what you can afford and no more.
Post # 5
Sounds like she’s planned it without thinking about costs.
If it’s going to be a lot, it’s courtesy to ask how much people are comfortable with BEFORE finalising things.
Generally, everyone pays their own way other than the bride. At least that’s how it’s done near me.
id just raise the fact that you’re uncomfortable wi the costs. The take it from there.
Post # 6
I think if you’re asking people to chip in they should have a say in the plans, as in you and her could have discussed ideas & options. Making all the decisions herself and then telling you what to ‘chip in’ isn’t fair. You and your Darling Husband have to put your own finances first and decide what you’re willing/ able to pay.
Also, what other costs are you having to pay for in relation to this wedding? Is there going to be a shower as well you’re expected to help pay for? And (though I realize this has nothing to do with the MOH’s decisions), what is the bride paying for re her bridal party? As in dresses, shoes, hair & make-up etc? Reason I’m asking is, if this is the only thing (or one of a very few things) that has been asked of you, I’d tend to go along with it (provided the $200 is do-able for you) but if this is Expense #9 of like 15 different things you’re supposed to pay for, then I’d be feeling the pinch and have a talk with Maid/Matron of Honor about the party bus portion of the expense.
Post # 7
Swebs14: at the only bach party I’ve ever been to, all the girls paid $20 each for the bus. Then paid their own way for food, drinks, etc. The bridal party paid for the bride. I think you can ask about splitting the tab with the other party goers.