Post # 1
Please help! I am so excited to be my best friend’s Maid/Matron of Honor, but the bachelorette party is causing me so much stress!
The bride requested the following:
- overnight hotel stay (incl. breakfast the next morning)
- spa day (incl. lunch)
She gave me a list of 20 girls she’d like to invite, and she understands that not everyone will be able to afford/attend everything. Essentially, they can pick and choose what to attend, and I imagine that the majority will only choose one of the higher-priced options (spa, concert or hotel).
My problem is this: how do I provide an estimated cost if the costs for each part will vary based on how many people attend? For example, hotel costs and spa prices will be much lower if a high number of girls want to participate.
I would also like everyone to chip in for the bride’s costs, which again will vary greatly depending on how many people participate.
What do I say on the invitation that expresses all of this? Thanks!
Post # 3
@hhchh: I think you can provide a per person average cost. Doesn’t have to be exact, but if the hotel rooms are $100 each & can sleep 4 girls you can break it down to $30-50 (to cover cost of bride, etc) per girl depending on total attendance. Spa costs should be simple since they can choose what they’d want. Dinner could be tougher bc of alcohol but that’s to be expected. Concert tickets are pretty upfront & just add a few bucks on top to cover the bride. Explain that it’s all estimates until you have a final attendance list. I would guess each girl might be in around $200??
Post # 4
I woudl recommend having an ‘Up To’ price, so if a mani pedi for 3 people is $70 but one for 10 people is $55, I would say ‘up to $70’, and let them know that depending on the attendance the cost could be lower.
Post # 5
Agree with PP, maybe work out minimum and maximum prices so they have a rough idea and tell them that exact prices will be determined once you’ve recieved RSVP’s!
I’d be more than happy to receive an invite like that and I’m sure her guests would too! 🙂
Post # 6
Thanks for the suggestions! I will try to do my best with the estimates – I’d like to aim high to be safe, but I’m worried about scaring off some of the girls if it’s too high.
Does anyone have a suggestion for how to get everyone to pay in advance (after RSVPs are sent and final costs are determined for the hotel, spa and concert – not for meals)? Should I do personal phone calls or emails to let everyone know their final? Is it okay to ask for the money up front? I’d love to hear your stories! Thanks!
Post # 7
It is absolutely okay to ask for money up front. I would tell the girls that you need to reserve the concert tickets, spa, and hotel by such-and-such a date, and that you need to have their money by then. Hopefully the date is far enough in advance that people have time to get their money together. Send the girls reminders periodically so they don’t forget the deadline.
This may sound harsh, but I would also say that if you don’t have someone’s money by that date you won’t be able to include them in your bookings. Stick to your guns on this! Trust me, you do not want to put any money down up front because there WILL be a few people who will not pay you. If you request money up front and people don’t give it you, you aren’t losing anything. Those people will have to do just the dinner.
My sister planned a bachelorette party for her friend and took this same route and it worked out fine. I think most people understand that they can’t expect one person to pay for 20 people out of pocket.
Post # 8
@hhchh: I did a price fix of the highest price it would probably cost. Then when I ended up having a little extra money- I used it on alcohol which we drank on our limo bus. Ended up working out well 🙂
Post # 9
@KHR20507: +1. And expect like 1/2 the people to pay you on the date that it’s due, or come up with excuses. Definitely stick to your guns! People totally understand