Bachelorette Party– Didn't enjoy it at all :(

posted 2 years ago in Parties
Post # 2
8380 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Suggestion? Forget about it and move on. And don’t give in to peer pressure at your wedding, lest you be puking on the dance floor! 

I don’t think you should plan another party, as your friends/fam already spent time and money coming to this one, and will still have your wedding (and possibly bridal shower*). That’s too much to put onto people IMO. 

Post # 4
47439 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
irishgal555 :  Unless you are hosting and paying for everything, I wouldn’t have a do- over. Although the circumstances were terrible, your friends did the best they could to have a celebration in your honor.

You were the one who drank too much and ended up getting sick. Just think of it as a great story you will be able to tell in 20 years.

Post # 5
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

Next time know your limits and say no to booze beyond your limits? 

You’ve had your bachelorette party. It sucks that it didn’t go the way you wanted, but it sounds like everybody tried hard to make it special despite the deaths. I personally wouldn’t try for a redo or expect them to spend more money or a night out. That said, you can always invite friends for a girls afternoon or girls night (nonsleepover). I think I’d just keep it small… best friend or two or your bridal party and just invite them for an afternoon tea, or dinner or movie. 

If you can swing it, you could pay and say its to thank them for their hard work, if not go Dutch. But otherwise, I’d try not to make it a party for you as much as a girls night. 

Post # 6
591 posts
Busy bee

They should be apologizing to you, honestly. I’m a non-drinker and I hate when people pressure me to drink. Sometimes people just want to enjoy a diet Coke and NOT be violently ill, ya know? Your friends should have respected that. I’m sorry it was such a lousy experience for you. Maybe you could do something fun with just your maid of honor, without the cousins who kept badgering you to drink more? I wouldn’t invite them to another party, but your maid of honor sounds like a good friend; she might be up for a low-key “redo.”

Post # 7
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

suggestion: just reframe it, it might help you feel better and move on. 
It was a “rehearsal” of sorts that showed you what you don’t want to do at your wedding. 

Now you can practice what you wish you’d said and done, (when people try to push drinks on you after your wedding) and then the things that really matter will go much better moving forward. 

sorry you’re left feeling bad. that sucks 🙁 but a year after your wedding, i bet you’ll remember the wedding much more than this party. 

Post # 8
276 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

View original reply
cypresstree85 :  good idea, I’d be taking my MoH out to thank her… or having pizza and watching a good movie <3 

Post # 9
2153 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Agreeing with PPs. Since both you and your Maid/Matron of Honor are feeling unhappy with how things went, perhaps the two of you should plan a girls’ overnight as a do-over. Go to a spa, have some drinks, but end the night with pizza and a movie. 

Post # 12
114 posts
Blushing bee

I like the idea of a fun girls day/night with your Maid/Matron of Honor a lot. Make some new, better and more chilled memories.

If it makes you feel any better, all of the hen parties I’ve been to have been overhyped, rather stressful and never that enjoyable. The stakes are too high! Pinterest and Instagram insists that there must be cute hampers, marching straws and a beautifully decorated Airbnb apartment. It’s just too much!

The worst one I’ve been to ended with the bride crying onto my shoulder after her bridesmaids/best friend’s had abandoned ship on the night out, and just gone home without her. It was truly awful. They didn’t speak for ages. So what I’m saying is it sucks when things don’t go to plan, but it could have been much worse. You won’t care that much about this soon I promise. 

Post # 13
1644 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana

I hated mine too.  Dinner would’ve been plenty, I don’t like to party. I caved to peer pressure. 

Post # 14
8904 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

View original reply
irishgal555 :  mini pamper session and dinner with your Maid/Matron of Honor, on you, sounds perfect! 🙂

Post # 15
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

This is one reason I didn’t want to have a bridal party/do all the expected parties that come with that. No binge drinking, silly games, penis decor, etc. 

Some of my best friends I grew up with wanted to throw a pre-wedding party for me so I told them that what I would love would be a chill weekend at one of our friends’ family’s lake house. We did face masks, drank champagne, had delicious summer produce, gossiped, read novels, and canoed on the lake for a weekend a couple months before the wedding. With a different friend group in my current city, we went to a wine tasting event. 

One of the nice things about being an adult, and planning a big event like a wedding where you get to make the decisions, is setting the rules and the tone for all associated events. And not giving a fuck about whether someone else thinks you look “lame.”

P.S. Please don’t use the word “jipped” – it’s a variation of “gypped”, from “gypsy” and is offensive to Roma people.

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