Post # 1
Hi, all —
So, my co-matrons are planning a bachelorette party for me and are hounding me to get them the guest list (which, by the way, is around 6, including me) and their addresses as soon as possible, as they’re planning it for August. Here’s my dilemma: one of the ladies I’d like them to invite is sadly not invited to the wedding at this point. The reason for this is strictly budgetary — my fiance and I have sent save-the-dates to 85 guests (including kids), of whom we’re anticipating between 75-80. We cannot stretch our budget to include more; as it is, I’ve had to cut out some people I would’ve really loved to have at our wedding due to extended family as a priority.
So, is it in bad form to invite this person to the bachelorette party? My gut is telling me yes, but perhaps you may feel differently. Thank you all in advance.
Post # 3
@leenh78: The way I understand the rule is: if YOU are hosting, only invite people invited to the wedding. If OTHERS are hosting, you are in the clear.
Post # 4
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
I would feel really disappointed to be included in the bachelorette party but not the wedding guest list. I am good enough to buy you drinks and party with you but not good enough to attend your nuptials? If they aren’t invited to the wedding, I wouldn’t invite them to any of the wedding parties, regardless of who is hosting the party.
Post # 5
- Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall
@leenh78: I think it’s safest not to invite her.
Post # 6
I would not invite her if she is not going to be invited to the wedding.
Post # 7
If you want to stay friends with her…..don’t invite her to the bachelorette but not the wedding. Would you want to be invited/go to a bachelorette party, only to find out that you didn’t make the cut for the wedding guestlist? I totally understand and respect the budget reasons (have similar issues myself) but I wouldn’t invite her to the bachelorette party if she is not invited to the wedding.
Post # 9
if she is not invited to the wedding, she should not be invited to wedding festivities.
the exception is a work shower.
Post # 10
I wouldn’t invite her if she isn’t invited to the wedding.
I was once invited to a freaking bridal shower and when I inquired about the wedding I was told I wasn’t invited because of the budget…I was PISSED, it’s like so you want me to buy you a freaking bridal shower gift and I’m not invited to the wedding…heck no, I told the brides sister it was rude to invite me to one and not the other and no I wouldn’t be attending.
Post # 11
Thanks, all; so what my gut’s telling me is right, then. I appreciate the feedback!
Post # 12
I totally dissagree with all of you. Weddings are expensive and a wedding is more a family thing. Bachelorette is more a hanging out with friends thing. Invite her. If shes a true friend she will understand that shes not invited to the wedding but at least she will know that you were thinking of her to invite her.
Post # 13
i think its in really poor form to invite someone to a wedding-related event but not the wedding. I totally understand you have a budget to stick to, but unfortunately this is the type of thing that goes along with cutting people out of the guest list…they should be cut from everything else
Post # 14
I think that it really depends on the friend. If I were that friend I would understand and would totally want to go to the party! Maybe you should talk to her about it. I mean, she’s gonna figure out that she’s not invited to the wedding, so if you explain to her why and ask if she’d like to be invited to the bach party anyway then you’ll know for sure.