(Closed) Bachelorette Party Downer

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think you should go to Miami if you’re excited about it and everyone else is on board with it. It’s hard to plan a scenario where everyone will be able to come regardless of where it is or what it costs. I think your Maid/Matron of Honor has probably put a ot of time and effort into figuring it out and it would be a shame for it not to happen because one girl doesn’t want to come. If youbought her Bridesmaid or Best Man dress for her, I think it’s fair for you to just go and not rearrange plans because she doesn’t want to spend the money. You did her a favor in getting the dress so you’ve already been generous with her. If she gets upset, she gets upset. It sounds honestly like she may be the type that would get upset no matter what you end up doing.

Post # 4
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Is it a flight or a drive for you guys?

Post # 6
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

It is your wedding, I say go to Miami. If she doesn’t want to go or can’t, well she just misses a great weekend. Don’t rearrange your plans for one person. You can’t please everyone. If she says anything, just say I would really like for you to join us, but if you can’t, I understand. Plus, Miami is a great place to go for your B-Party weekend. Have fun!!!

Post # 7
Member
1676 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

One of my friends is having her bachelorette in Miami this spring, and I probably can’t make it due to money constraints.  (This is a cross-country flight for me, plus hotels for the weekend, and cash to go out and have fun, all while I need to save for my own wedding.)  My friend has been really understanding, and just says “I totally understand if you can’t make it.  We’ll miss you, but don’t feel any pressure.”  Granted I’m not IN the wedding, so this is a somewhat different circumstance.  But maybe just do the same thing, and tell your bridesmaid that you’re sorry that she can’t make it and that she’ll be missed.  People have different financial priorities, so I don’t think it’s fair to expect everyone to make it to a destination bachelorette party (this is a destination, right?).  So you should understand if she isn’t able to drop the money for the trip, and she should understand that you’re still going to do the bachelorette in Miami despite the fact that she won’t be attending.  At least I hope that’s how it will work out!

Post # 8
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Thats a great price for a flight!

Meh, I bet it will be a ton of fun. Go for it, and just let her know that you are sorry she can’t make it, but the other girls have put in a bunch of effort and you are too honored by their excitement and willingness to celebrate this time in your life in such a big way to make them change their plans. That way you are framing it in terms of the hurt you would do to the other girls by changing plans, not by the terms of the lone holdout.

Post # 9
Member
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

You should go. The flight is reasonable and since you are probably sharing hotel room it will be reasonably priced. It looks like your Maid/Matron of Honor and other BM’s are excited and on board and only this 1 Bridesmaid or Best Man is a downer, I would go. The other girls are excited about it and so are YOU! The downer Bridesmaid or Best Man will have to understand, I mean she was invited.

It’s awesome that you are paying for all your Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses but I just want to say just because she makes more doesn’t mean she has the money, I know lots of friends that make more than me but live outside their means and are in debt up to their eyeballs!

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