- 5 months ago
Don’t think of it as shady, think of them being not rude.
It’s rude to discuss things in front of people who aren’t invited. Do you go up to people not invited to your wedding and then subject them to a rundown of every little thing going on with your wedding and how excited you are for it and how much fun it’s going to be and then point out how they arent invited? No (or I hope not) because that’s rude.
Also, they are just living their lives. Would you have paid this much attention and scrutinized it as much as you are if it wasn’t in close proximity to your wedding? Do they routinely run all of their vacation plans by you for approval? Is it possible they were treading lightly on this one because they knew you would scrutinize it?
They are bridesmaids for one day. All the rest of their days they are just living their lives and making plans with their spouses and friends. And just because she is free to go on vacation a couple weeks from now still doesn’t mean she is available for your bachelorette. Her availability on date X is independent of her availability on date Y. Or that she should have to give up a vacation with her spouse to attend a party without her spouse if she can only afford one right now. If given the option I’m blowing my budget on something enjoyed by me and my SO jointly. Bachelorette parties just aren’t ranked as high in my list of priorities.