(Closed) Bachelorette party DRAMA! – need advice ASAP :)

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Unfortunately you just learned the Bridesmaid or Best Man lesson.  Don’t tell the other BMs how you really feel.  It sucks but I’ve had this happen lots of times where you think you are speaking on behalf of the majority and then one of them turns and tells the bride and now your the bad guy.  

If I were you I would say that you are up for dinner and spa time.  Do what you can afford to do.  I would split the cost of the bride’s meal/massage with the other 2 girls and then I wouldn’t partake in the massage for myself. Instead I would do a pedicure since I would probably get one for the wedding anyways.


Sorry they threw you under the bus.  It happens.  And don’t communicate via email/text any more because the meaning gets lost in translation.

Post # 4
7174 posts
Busy Beekeeper

You don’t have to go to the bachelorette – if you aren’t able to afford it and/or don’t want to.  Or, maybe you can go to the parts you want to.  

Don’t worry about what everyone things – just decide what you want to do and then go for it.  I know it’s hard to plan and coordinate schedules, but hopefully the Maid/Matron of Honor can do that and figure out a plan that will work for everyone.

Post # 7
529 posts
Busy bee

She should not have texted you. I have been to spas that have chairs for people to just hang out, although it might be weird you could still be with them and get something cheaper, like a mani-pedi or something. Then no one could say you weren’t there!

Post # 8
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I totally understand where you’re coming from.  I’ve often felt that way when I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in a number of weddings.  It did do one thing for me, it made me realize how I wanted to be as a bride.  I agree with the other poster that another option would be to go to only the parts you want but just remember that you won’t be there and how will that be preceived?  Just remember not much longer and you put it behind you!

Post # 9
31 posts
  • Wedding: July 2010

I am so familiar with this pre-wedding Bridesmaid or Best Man tension! Don’t worry, it will be over soon and I really think the best thing to do, no matter how pissed off you are (I remember feeling that way in one wedding), the most important thing to do is to save face. No matter how you are feeling. And yes, don’t say how you really feel. It may be a bit suppressed and counter intuitive, but you will feel so much better coming out the other side of this having been (perceived as) a patient, supportive, generous friend. After being a Maid/Matron of Honor and bridesmaid at two weddings all within in a three week period, I am now a bride to be and yes, I agree with Vintage, I am very conscious of how I want to treat my bridesmaids, although I’m sure I’m not perfect either. But I am very aware of the entitlement thing. It bugs me when people act like they are entitled to receive a, b and c because they are getting married so I’m trying not to expect anything or put pressure on by BMs now. I personally think that tradition needs to die! lol

Post # 11
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Vintage is right, always play the devil’s advocate!!!! 🙂


I’m sure she just wants you there, so go with a lesser service and you should be good! 🙂



The topic ‘Bachelorette party DRAMA! – need advice ASAP :)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors