(Closed) Bachelorette Party Help!

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
8 posts
  • Wedding: October 2013

@missjewels:  Hi, let me just clear something for myself…there are 4 of you, correct? If that is the case then you four can definitely throw her something. Are the maid of honor? If so, it is your job to push the other bridesmaids into planning mode. If not, let the Maid/Matron of Honor do her thing. If you’re coming up to the 2months before mark and no one has said anything, you should bring it up. Especially if she has been hinting at it.

Post # 5
257 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You don’t need to do anything big and extravagant. Just plan a night out on the town- dinner, drinks, dancing. And plan it somewhere so you can all just stay at home or a friends place and don’t have to get a hotel room. 

I agree though- if you are 2 months out, you should probably say something. At least reach out to the other BMs to see what they think!

Post # 6
9550 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Gragh. I was in a similar situation where there were several bridesmaids but no Maid/Matron of Honor. This can work if the bride assigns the Maid/Matron of Honor tasks to specific bridesmaids but it turns into a logistical nightmare if she doesn’t.

I think she needs a bachelorette party. She obviously wants one. One of you 4 should throw it. I’d ask the other girls if they’re planning anything. That will at least start a conversation. And depending on how you do it, the out of towners may be able to come as well. Maybe they could travel back for the party. Or maybe they were already planning to back for something else. Or you could (as my family does) have the bachelorette on Thursday night before the rehersal on Friday (if it’s a Saturday wedding). Lots of options.

There are also lots of options for what to do and they aren’t all expensive. You can have it at someone’s home and it could be potluck dinner, give each other manicures, watch a chick flick, make cocktails, play bach party games, etc. Or you could go out to a reasonable restaurant and bar for a night on the town (everyone can pay their own way and split the cost of the bride’s dinner and drinks). It doesn’t have to be expensive to be fun.

Post # 7
674 posts
Busy bee

You don’t have to plan anything, especially if you’re not in a position to do so financially. If none of the other girls are saying anything, you have a couple of options. You can sit back and continue with your hostess efforts for the shower. This is perfectly reasonable since the bride should feel wonderful that you guys are putting that together for her.

Or, if you really are tired of her dropping hints for you guys to throw her another party, email the other BMs and let them know she’s been dropping hints, but you hadn’t heard from them on any of it. If you are willing to step up as a lead hostess, tell them that you really can’t afford to spend more than $XY on it (give an exact budget), so you’d like their input on to what could be done, what they would like to see happen, what they can contribute if they want to help out, and organize who will make final arrangements for everything.

If you aren’t super close to her and she’s been dropping these hints to you while she should have some idea of your likely financial situation, then I’m sure she’s been bugging the hell out of the other ladies. In all honesty, maybe no one is up for it. If not, you’re not obligated to do anything at all. It sounds like any offer to do something just take her out for a few drinks would be awkward, so don’t push the party idea just because she wants one.

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