Post # 1
One of the invitees to my bachelorette party (which is taking place 8/17) is a good, longtime friend of mine who was laid off from her job recently. With her and her husband’s 7-month-old daughter and the fact that they’re now a single-income household, I have this strong feeling that she won’t want to attend due to the expense involved (limo cost, dinner, and some time at a bar split four ways). The reason I especially have this feeling is because when I asked her today via text if she would be coming, she never responded.
I told my two matrons about this, as they’re organizing the party. One of them said that they would be willing to pay her share, as they don’t want for her to miss out on being there just because of money. What an amazing thing for them to offer to do!
How do I tell my friend this without making her feel like she’s a charity case? Or would you not tell her?
Post # 3
@leenh78: Personally, I’d just let her miss this one. Let her know that you understand that she can’t make it and that you’re looking forward to spending time with her at the wedding.
I caught wind that a few friends of mine were planning on trying to pay for my flight to Vegas once and I was PISSED. There is a difference between not having money to do something and CHOOSING not to do it. She may have the money for it but doesn’t want to spend it that way.
It’s a very generous offer, but I think I’d skip it.
Post # 4
Why not just ask her, you say she is a long time, good friend so you should be able to talk to her. “Hey friend I know you are curentlly struggling right now so if you are worried about the financial side of my bacheloretty party don’t be because we want you there and will take care of it. But if you don’t feel comfortable with that or no longer want to come, maybe you and I can do lunch or dinner one day so we can spend time together. Just let me know what you want to do so we can make plans accordingly. Can’t wait to see you!!!”
Post # 5
@Mars62312: Thanks. That’s what I’m thinking; if I were in her shoes, I would feel worse knowing that people are willing to absorb my share.
Post # 6
@leenh78: And talking about her finances. I think that’s what got me the most. That’s between my hubs and i!
Post # 7
@leenh78: I would invite her and when she RSVPs, let whoever is getting those can offer at that point…. so it’s not like people were “talking behind her back”. I’m currenly mostly unemployed and I think that’s how I’d like it handled.