(Closed) Bachelorette party isn't what I wanted… Advice please!

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
3257 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Find a way to change it.  You’re just going to have a crappy time, and so will everyone else once they realize you’re not having fun.  It’ll end up being a fight and damage your friendship in the end, I think.  Maybe you could get your Bridesmaid or Best Man to get your fiance to really put his foot down and say “she’s going to HATE that.  This is a bad idea.  Pick something else.  Make it a surprise, but pick something else – something SHE will want.”  Or maybe your Bridesmaid or Best Man can do that.  Either way, don’t just let it go because you’d be a bridezilla.  It’s not like she’s picking something you’ll have fun at that isn’t what you want.  She’s picking something you actively don’t like.

Post # 4
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

UGH YES my Maid/Matron of Honor did this too, and I finally had to tell her she wasn’t allowed near the planning of my bachelorette party. She wanted to do lingerie gifting then a boudoir photoshoot, with like everyone who was invited to the bachelorette party watching. Which is totally awkward, a) because I don’t think gifts should be involved in a bachelorette party (especially in my friend group, where nearly everyone is in or just out of grad school, except my Maid/Matron of Honor, so she doesn’t really understand that not everyone has as much money as she does), and b) I really, REALLY don’t want all my friends watching me pose sexy in lingerie – that is the stuff of nightmares. Like, once the surprise was spoiled, I literally had nightmares about it.

I don’t know how to make her back down without getting in a fight with her… but it may be necessary. You have a vision of what you want your bach party to be – you told her what it was, your girls and fiance told her what it was, you hate surprises, and you dislike the casino. She IS going to be hurt. But she should get over it. And you’ll have to handle it rather than a bridesmaid – no need to put them in the middle.

Post # 5
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@FiddleSticks:  This is a tough one.  I wouldn’t want to get in a huge blowout with my maid of honor, but at the same time, why won’t she listen to anyone when they tell her you won’t like the current plan?  I know you said she’s stubborn, but seriously … If you’re planning a party in someone else’s honor, you should choose an activity that person will enjoy.  It sounds as though you were very upfront with her about what you’d want (and it’s not as though you were requesting something extravagant), and she just chose to ignore it.  That makes no sense to me.

I think you may just have to speak with her about it.  It sucks because it could cause an argument, but you’re going to have to say something if you don’t want to go along with this plan.  

 @distracts:  Your story horrified me.  I can’t imagine why your maid of honor thought a boudoir photoshoot with everyone at the bachelorette party watching would be fun.  I wouldn’t even want to do one alone, let alone with a bunch of people (even if they were close friends) gawking at me.  

Post # 7
Member
1514 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@FiddleSticks:  That really sucks.  Frown  I really hope she’ll listen to you if you take her aside and let her know that you’d appreciate it if just this once she’d veer away from the original plan she had in mind to do something you’d enjoy.  You deserve to have the party you want … It’s not as though you were requesting something completely extravagant or crazy!  It’d probably actually be cheaper for everyone involved to go along with what you initially wanted.

Post # 8
Member
48 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2015

maybe you ARE going to the beach but they want it to be a surprise. I wanted to go to the big city for my day and my bms told me the Maid/Matron of Honor planned it and we were going car camping. I was devistated!!! I LOVE CAMPING! But i wanted a night of scandalously dressed men and penis hats….so i could look back and laugh my face off!….not bug bites and a sore back from sleeping on the gound.

 

ANYWAYS everyone was meeting at my parents place and we were driving to the site from there….and went to leave there was a limo that drove us though the big city. ANd i wore penis everything and I danced and high fived strippers.

I was being nosey so they made up a fake bachelorette party scenerio to throw me off their trail. My Fiance was in on it too.

Post # 9
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@angelinthesnowxo:  Uh, yeah, I have no idea what she was thinking. She and I are very different people, and our friendship is very much an “opposites attracting” thing but usually it’s not so bad!

@FiddleSticks:  Honestly, it wasn’t pretty. She told me I didn’t appreciate what she was trying to do for me and if I didn’t let her plan my bachelorette party, we’d never be friends again, and I told her that if she honestly thought I’d enjoy what she was planning, maybe that was for the best because she obviously didn’t know me. Then there was A LOT of incoherent screaming. I have never gotten in such a fight with anyone in my life. It was awful. Then she wouldn’t speak to me for two weeks, which were practically the worst two weeks of my life. It was worse than a breakup – all I could do was lie in bed and cry. Then she got over it. For about a month our friendship was really rocky and confusing, but then we found new footing and now we’re good. And we had so much fun at the wedding and related events. This isn’t the first time something similar has happened with her, but it was definitely the worst time.

Post # 11
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

If someone is throwing you a party and they’re paying for it, then you go, be happy that they did something for you and if you want to go to the beach, then host your bridal party to a day at the beach on another day at your expense. What a wonderful way to express your appreciation to your BMs and do what you want to do!

The topic ‘Bachelorette party isn't what I wanted… Advice please!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors