Post # 1
Hypothetical question: If you are only allowed one pre-wedding event (cannot combine the two in the same day/evening), would you rather have a Bachelorette party or Bridal shower? I added a poll to see results better but please feel free to share why you picked one over the other by text. Would love to know your thoughts.
Post # 2
I didnt want a bridal shower at all, so I picked bachelorette party!
I did end up having sort of a hybrid thing. I didnt want a shower, but submitted to a “bridal brunch” with friends and family, and then all the girls got ready and we went for a night on the town as the bachelorette part. But honestly I hate typical bridal showers lol.
Post # 3
I’d pick the bachelorette party for sure.
I found the shower a bit awkward really, I felt uncomfortable getting gifts from so many people and opening them in front of a crowd..
I preferred having a fun weekend with my all my closest friends (we stayed at my family’s cabin). We also did a combined bachelor/bachelorette which was a fun bonding experience for the whole wedding party.
Post # 4
I’m choosing to only have one since all my friends and family live in a different state and I’m trying to cut down on as much travel as I can. I’m doing a bachelorette trip and it just sounds like more fun to me, and I really want to create memories with my bridal party outside of just the wedding day.
Post # 5
I’d like something closer to a bachelorette party. I don’t have a lot of extended family who would be attending a bridal shower anyway. I tend to think of the bridal shower as an event appropriate for children and grandmothers, but there aren’t many of either in my life.
I think I’d prefer to get some friends together, have a spa day, and do dinner/drinks in the evening. Just no genitalia themed accessories, please.
Post # 7
I would much rather have a bachelorette. I think a night with my close girl friends that is aimed at general hilarity would be more enjoyable than a luncheon receiving gifts. I am also fully furnished and don’t need anything for our house, so the shower would be less beneficial for the traditional “getting us started” in life.
Post # 8
I’d choose the shower. I was able to see and interact with both friends and family I hadn’t seen in a while. At the bachelorette, I didn’t have most family members, plus my friends and I went out a lot before was married anyway! Dh and I didn’t live together very long before marriage, so the gifts actually were things we needed, as well.
Post # 9
Over here, the ‘hen do’ is the equivalent of your bachelorette, I think, and our bridal showers tend to be less gift focussed and more about food, fun and spending time together (it’s also still fairly uncommon to have a bridal shower compared to a hen do).
I’d prefer having a hen do over our version of bridal shower, because I don’t feel comfortable in large groups or being the centre of attention. I’d rather spend time with just a few of my closest friends. And I’d DEFINITELY prefer the hen do over the US version of a bridal shower. I’ve seen photos of some of my American’ friends’ bridal showers and I honestly thought they’d brought the wedding forward because the whole event was so large-scale!
Post # 10
Shower, no question. I dislike the stereotypical bachelor and bachelorettes which aren’t even a recognized pre-wedding event from a traditional etiquette POV. A shower is generally more inclusive of immediate family, moms, grandmothers, etc.
I don’t think an intimate, low key party featuring modest, practical type gifts thrown by friend or friends of the guest of honor or the family is “awkward” at all especially in comparison to what most bachelorettes have become.
I also strongly dislke the unfortunate, burdensome trend of destination bachelorettes.
Post # 11
I didn’t want and didn’t have either. Your poll didn’t have a “none” option, so I didn’t vote. But I still think “none” is a valid option so I replied anyway.
Post # 12
I should have explained it’s a question for those who wanted one or the other when I originally wrote. I thought it was already understood the way it was.
Post # 13
- Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA
I hate bridal showers. So we are just going to do a girls day in Palm Springs, a little spa, a little tennis and a bit of nightlife with my pod.
Post # 14
Personally, neither lol. I am not against attending one (I think they can be lovely – my sister had a bridal shower and it was very nice), but I never understood the point of splitting up the bride and groom. I will have more of a wedding shower, where my partner and I (and our immediate families) do something fun together!
If I had to have one, I would choose a shower (although like I said, I prefer wedding showers over bridal showers). I am a very antisocial person and prefer very short and sweet events over longer and roudy events haha.
Post # 15
This may be regional. I barely know anyone who had a real bachelor or bachelorette but i definitely don’t know anyone who had a bridal shower. I would definiely prefer the former– it doesn’t have to be a drunken affair. Most people I know just rented a cabin and hung out with friends for a weekend, or went out to brunch, or did a scavenger hunt. It was a way to spend time with people. In my limited awareness bridal showers are kind of gift-centered and I find that notion very very very very awkward — especially if it is paired with a gift-giving at weddings culture. It just seems strange to me to expect people to spend money on you just because you happend to find a life partner (I asked for no gifts at our wedding, so I can’t imagine having a second event at which there were gifts!)