Bachelorette party or Bridal shower?

posted 2 weeks ago in Wedding Related
  • poll: Which event would you rather have?

    Bachelorette Party

    Bridal Shower

  • Post # 2
    Member
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee

    I didnt want a bridal shower at all, so I picked bachelorette party! 

    I did end up having sort of a hybrid thing. I didnt want a shower, but submitted to a “bridal brunch” with friends and family, and then all the girls got ready and we went for a night on the town as the bachelorette part. But honestly I hate typical bridal showers lol. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    1057 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’d pick the bachelorette party for sure.

    I found the shower a bit awkward really, I felt uncomfortable getting gifts from so many people and opening them in front of a crowd..

    I preferred having a fun weekend with my all my closest friends (we stayed at my family’s cabin). We also did a combined bachelor/bachelorette which was a fun bonding experience for the whole wedding party. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    2 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: September 2022

    I’m choosing to only have one since all my friends and family live in a different state and I’m trying to cut down on as much travel as I can. I’m doing a bachelorette trip and it just sounds like more fun to me, and I really want to create memories with my bridal party outside of just the wedding day.  

    Post # 5
    Member
    162 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’d like something closer to a bachelorette party. I don’t have a lot of extended family who would be attending a bridal shower anyway. I tend to think of the bridal shower as an event appropriate for children and grandmothers, but there aren’t many of either in my life.

    I think I’d prefer to get some friends together, have a spa day, and do dinner/drinks in the evening. Just no genitalia themed accessories, please.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1421 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would much rather have a bachelorette. I think a night with my close girl friends that is aimed at general hilarity would be more enjoyable than a luncheon receiving gifts. I am also fully furnished and don’t need anything for our house, so the shower would be less beneficial for the traditional “getting us started” in life.

    Post # 8
    Member
    7935 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    I’d choose the shower. I  was able to see and interact with both friends and family I hadn’t seen in a while. At the bachelorette, I didn’t have most family members, plus my friends and I went out a lot before was married anyway! Dh and I didn’t live together very long before marriage, so the gifts actually were things we needed, as well. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    2186 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Over here, the ‘hen do’ is the equivalent of your bachelorette, I think, and our bridal showers tend to be less gift focussed and more about food, fun and spending time together (it’s also still fairly uncommon to have a bridal shower compared to a hen do).  

    I’d prefer having a hen do over our version of bridal shower, because I don’t feel comfortable in large groups or being the centre of attention.  I’d rather spend time with just a few of my closest friends.  And I’d DEFINITELY prefer the hen do over the US version of a bridal shower.  I’ve seen photos of some of my American’ friends’ bridal showers and I honestly thought they’d brought the wedding forward because the whole event was so large-scale!  

    Post # 10
    Member
    13813 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Shower, no question. I dislike the stereotypical bachelor and bachelorettes which aren’t even a recognized pre-wedding event from a traditional etiquette POV. A shower is generally more inclusive of immediate family, moms, grandmothers, etc. 

    I don’t think an intimate, low key party featuring modest, practical type gifts thrown by friend or friends of the guest of honor or the family is “awkward” at all especially in comparison to what most bachelorettes have become. 
    I also strongly dislke the unfortunate, burdensome trend of destination bachelorettes. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    77 posts
    Worker bee

    I didn’t want and didn’t have either. Your poll didn’t have a “none” option, so I didn’t vote. But I still think “none” is a valid option so I replied anyway. smile

    Post # 13
    Member
    1650 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2022 - Studio City , CA

    View original reply
    @socalgirl1689:  I hate bridal showers.  So we are just going to do a girls day in Palm Springs, a little spa, a little tennis and a bit of nightlife with my pod.  

    Post # 14
    Member
    17 posts
    Newbee

    Personally, neither lol. I am not against attending one (I think they can be lovely – my sister had a bridal shower and it was very nice), but I never understood the point of splitting up the bride and groom. I will have more of a wedding shower, where my partner and I (and our immediate families) do something fun together! 

    If I had to have one, I would choose a shower (although like I said, I prefer wedding showers over bridal showers). I am a very antisocial person and prefer very short and sweet events over longer and roudy events haha. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1253 posts
    Bumble bee

    This may be regional. I barely know anyone who had a real bachelor or bachelorette but i definitely don’t know anyone who had a bridal shower. I would definiely prefer the former– it doesn’t have to be a drunken affair. Most people I know just rented a cabin and hung out with friends for a weekend, or went out to brunch, or did a scavenger hunt. It was a way to spend time with people. In my limited awareness bridal showers are kind of gift-centered and I find that notion very very very very awkward — especially if it is paired with a gift-giving at weddings culture. It just seems strange to me to expect people to spend money on you just because you happend to find a life partner (I asked for no gifts at our wedding, so I can’t imagine having a second event at which there were gifts!)

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