(Closed) Bachelorette party- Planning help!

posted 8 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

When is the bachelorette? You could go to Newport if it’s still going to be fairly warm or Providence/Boston/NYC. I’m suggesting Rhode Island because that’s where I’m from and I love when people go there.

I would say you should figure out what kind of experience the bride wants and then go on that (or just judge her personality). If she likes to party and go out, then maybe Foxwoods would be a good choice, or a city so you can go out to restaurants and bars. If she’s more laid back then maybe going to the beach, or spa might be better. In that case a small town or a bed-and-breakfast type place might be better- maybe go on wine tours or go to Matha’s Vineyard, Nantucket or Block Island.

For the money aspect, it would be best if you were going to gauge how much each bridesmaid is willing to spend. I always thought that the bridesmaids covered the bride’s portion, but I don’t think that’s set in stone. When my boyfriend went to a bachelor party the best man paid in advance and they paid him back, but it might be safer to get each girl’s portion before the weekend.

Post # 5
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

The bachelorette parties I’ve been to and hosted, all the guests, except the bride, split the bill.  If the party was exclusively just the bridesmaids plus the bride, then the bridesmaid would pay for everything, but if you’re inviting friends as well, then they should chip in as well.  It’s possibly your friend was saying the hotels were $40 a night because she was dividing the total by the number of attendees and so it would really be $40 per person or something.

I would get an idea of what you want to do and then ping the girls that are invited for interest.  Let them know what the cost is looking like to be and see how many want to attend and can afford it.  If you only get half to go, then your cost will be doubled per person, so keep that in mind.

I don’t think 4 hours away will be that bad if you made a good event of it.  I went to a bachelorette party in NYC, which was a 4 hour drive from where we started.  We rented a mini van (there were 7 of us) and we carpooled to NYC in the morning.  It was a lot of fun, even the car ride!  With 16, obviously that’s a lot less doable unless you took two or three cars.

When are you thinking of doing this?  When we planned our NYC bachelorette party, we started planning it five months in advance.  We looked up some hotels and events and called up some places to get price information.  Then we pinged all the girls invited to see how many would attend.  Once we had that number, I booked everything and gave everyone the deadline for when they could back out and how much everyone owed.  Then all the girls paid me back the day of the event.  But I don’t know that we would’ve gotten such cheap hotel rooms if we hadn’t booked in months in advance.

Post # 6
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I mean… it’s not the best situation, but I think you should just be up front about it so that you don’t get stuck with the bill. Just tell people “We plan to go XYZ. The rooms are $$ per night per girl. We’ll also be going to this bar, this restaurant, so please bring some cash to the weekend as well”

It’s better to just get the out before hand then be stuck with girls who had no idea what the weekend would cost.

 

Post # 10
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

If the Bride has told you specifically “I’d like to go here and do this” then that’s what you should do.  Just tell the co-planner something like “Hey, I really like those ideas and it sounds like a lot of fun, but the Bride has told me she’d like to go here and do this, so I think we need to respect her wishes and do that.  Maybe we can throw in a little something extra to surprise her though!”

Do you mind if I ask where in New Husband she wants to go?  I live in New Husband so I might be able to point you to some decent places?

Post # 12
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think @Adira: has the right idea. Let the co-planner know that this is what the bride wants to do, and insist that it’s what happens. Maybe you can add in some events or pick the restaurant, or do a lingerie shower or something so the bride doesn’t know every detail in advance. But really the weekend is about the bride, and her spending time with her friends. So I wouldn’t worry about making it a totak surprise- it doesn’t seem like she’d mind.

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