- 6 years ago
- Wedding: November 1999
And I don’t know if I’m at fault because I’m so wishy washy…
See, my Maid/Matron of Honor is my oldes sister and is what you would call….laid back. This is just her nature. Also, added to it, she has a three young kids and also a one year old with downs syndrome who was in and out of hospitals the first 6 mos of his life. I know she has a lot going on in her life. I knew this going in and didn’t expect much help at all from her. She would basically just put on the dress and show up.
So a while back, she asked one of my very good friends if she could help out planning it. Which meant basically doing everything. Well, this friend doesn’t want to get involved because two of my other sisters are jealous of our relationship so she didn’t want to step on toes. (or maybe just didn’t want to be saddled). Who knows. My fabulous SIL tried to step in. She kept asking me what I wanted. I really don’t care and really…I always feel like I’m putting people out or asking them to spend too much money. They would throw out ideas and I would say “sure” or “that’s good!”. But nobody ever moved. They continued to ask. So last week my SIL suggested just a party at my house because lately I just like staying in having drinks and not party hopping. This sounded good to me.
I told my mom. She totally got mad! She thought this was a bad idea because that meant that I would be doing most of the work. (planning, cooking, cleaning, etc…) and wanted it to be special. She is now upset with my Maid/Matron of Honor sister for being so uninvolved and said not to worry. She will plan it and take care of it all. She siad this in a very loving way because at this point I started to cry. This is so sweet and actually a relief. But now I worry that my MOH sister and SIL will think that I sold them out or complained about them or something. Especially my SIL. She tried, but I just felt like no matter what I said, nothing was good enough or getting planned.
I don’t know. I didn’t even want a big ol deal, but now I don’t even want one. I feel like I’m putting everyone out. And it’s not like I was demanding or anything… maybe being passive was worse.