(Closed) Bachelorette Party Trips

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
371 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mariebee14:  it’s very simple: the bride doesn’t get to plan or choose her own batchelorette party unless she’s fronting all of the costs for it. It is your job and the other bridesmaids’ job (and even then, still not an obligation to do anything you don’t want to) to choose and plan what you ladies will do for her, and unless she’s a rude jerk, she’ll accept whatever type of party you plan graciously. 

Post # 4
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Heck no that’s not normal! I think it’s ridiculous to EXPECT  such a big & expensive trip. It’s one thing if you and the bp brought it up.

Post # 5
1152 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@mariebee14:  This is NOT normal and you should not be expected to help pay for something this extravagent.  The bride does not plan her own bachelorette party unless she’s planning the whole thing, including paying.

Look into alternatives – if she’s more interested in the shows, go to a great show locally.  If it’s the food, do a tasting menu at a great restaurant nearby.  If it’s the casino, then find a casino locally.

I can’t imagine expecting people to go Las Vegas for something this long for a bachelorette.  Maybe one night.

Post # 6
2946 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

No, totaly not normal.  I’m staying hands off everything for these things, and even feel awkward asking if they are being planned (my girls know I want one, and know the date that will work for me) 

Post # 7
957 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@mariebee14:  E-mail her guest list and ask them what their budget for the festivities is. If every girl responds with $1000 or more, then start planning Vegas. If everyone responds with $200 (still, a high number!) then tell the bride that the budget is $200, so Vegas isn’t happening. Look for a large cabin in driving distance and go from there.

Post # 8
449 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014 - The Villa

@mariebee14:  @Lana_Rose:  said it perfectly… she may desire all these things, but unless she is planning and fronting cash for some of the expenses… I say it’s a no go. I was thinking about a destination bachelorette party too (b/c I’m getting married in the winter) but I am very conscious of all my maids’ budgets so I’ve all but scrapped the idea. Your friend picked you to be MoH and sometimes we brides need someone to pull us back to reality. 4 nights in Vegas is ridic, unless you are on the Shahs of Sunset or working with that type of budget. Lol.

Post # 10
1003 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@mariebee14 I think the destination bachelorette party is VERY common in my circle(and yes it can be expensive).  All of the weddings I have been a part of have done so.  No one should feel obligated to go because it can be expensive and we don’t always go to Vegas because it is also expensive.  You can get a suite at a hotel in Vegas for pretty cheap especially if you all stay in it.  Even if Vegas is too expensive you can look into some other more affordable cities, maybe even one that is a drive instead of flight and do a girls weekend?

Post # 12
7683 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@mariebee14:  “The bride is very set on Vegas…

… and I want a pony. It doesn’t mean I’m getting one. 

Just because the other girls are in, it doesn’t mean you need to. If you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. I think you should opt out entirely and let the other girls plan it.

If I was the bride I would never expect girls to spend big money on my bachelorette. But I can’t speak for your friend.

Post # 13
1276 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would plan a “Vegas” night in your own town and make that the theme of the party. I think expecting people to shell out money for an expensive trip is over the top. You are her maid of honor which means she should have a lot of respect for you and you should tell her how you feel. I would be straight up with her and say that you would love to plan her a fantastic night but her expectations are more than what you can provide at this time. She’s your friend, tell her that the costs are more than you can handle but you came up with other ideas.  If you are in charge of the party, plan it  so that you aren’t put in a bad financial position.  

Post # 14
8675 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@mariebee14:  I think you just need to be honest with her. just say the whole gang are interested in throwing you a bachelorette and they have decided that Vegas is doable for them. Unfortunately I am not in a position for that so I hope you understand that I wont be able to attend and that I think the other girls should be in charge of planning you bachelorette. I will focus on throwing you a kick ass shower insetad. Thanks for being so understanding.


If she is upset over this then she isn’t much of a friend.


Post # 15
21 posts
  • Wedding: March 2013

@mariebee14:  Sigh I am on the otherside of the coin. I had my bridal party plan an out of town bachelorette and only after the fact start saying the prices were to high once things were booked and they were agreed to which has left me feeling really uncomfortable and unhappy.
So, my point of view as someone going through this- be up front about it. Tell her that you may not have the money for the expensive trip. See how much you can afford and figure out from there. Can you afford the flight and hotel? You all don’t need to dine at the same places, maybe some of you could go out fancy others could stay in. Most suites have a kitchen which you could prep meals in together (thats what we plan on doing)Just be up front and see if you can get some other girls to chip in? It’s  not easy but seeing as you are in school and have a wedding to plan I am sure she will understand. Good luck


Post # 16
6110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m having this same issue. I’m a bridesmaid in my friend’s upcoming wedding and she has planned this long weekend in another state and it’s just not something I can (or want) to afford right now. She has actually said “I think $600 is a reasonable amount for everyone to spend”. Ummm, no. I straight up told her that as of now I can’t make it. If airfare were to drastically drop closer to the date, then it might be an option.

You know what? I wanted some big, destination bachelorette weekend but there would have been all of 1, maybe 2, people that would have been able to come because of financial issues. So instead I chose to go somewhere within driving distance and the cost was very minimal (like $50/person). Yeah, it wasn’t the shit from the movies and yeah, I’ve been to this place countless times, but all my friends got to be with me and that’s what mattered to me.

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