Post # 1
I’m having a bachelorette party in Miami and most of my friends, BMs and I are from SF bay area. I know traditionally the BM’s pay for the bride during the bachelorette party, but since this is such a big trip, I don’t think it’s fair that the BM’s/MOH pay for my airfare and hotel costs. I’m fine paying my own way there since I’m the one that wanted to go to Miami in the first place!
One of my BM’s thinks it’s weird that I’m starting to plan my own bachelorette (I’ve been looking at hotels with my MOH) and that I shouldn’t be paying for stuff. I would agree if it’s a local thing, but since it’s more like a 3 day party vacation, it can get expensive.
Is there a general etiquette for this stuff?
Post # 3
technically, your girls are the ones that should foot the bill… However, if you have the funds to pay for it and want to pay your airfare/hotel/etc, then by all means I know your BMs and Maid/Matron of Honor will oblige— however, let them at least buy a few drinks for you!!!
Post # 4
Yeah, if you’re the one planning it and making it a getaway, I think it’s fair (and will probably be appreciated) for you to pay your own way. You’ll definitely get more free drinks from your girlfriends that way!
Post # 5
I agree – we’re doing the same thing going to Miami in June. No one’s even offerred to pay my way – and it would be awkward if they did. If I get a free drink and a dinner out of it I’ll be thrilled. I just want to drink and lay on the beach.
Have you decided where you’re staying? We’re still on the hotel hunt….
Post # 6
We went to Vegas for a bachelorette party. The bride covered her airfare, her share of the hotel, and her tickets for our big night out (hosted limo, show, club). We treated her for any dinner, drinks, etc… while we were there. I think if it’s just an evening out then friends should foot the bill, but if it’s a trip, it’s nice if the bride can cover the major expenses for herself.
Post # 7
I think it’s a nice gesture if they offer ( and you know they can afford it) for your BMs to pay for the entire trip, but I wouldn’t feel comfortable having my girls pay for everything. I think it’s perfectly fine for you to pay your own airplane ticket + hotel and for the BMs to treat to you a nice dinner + night out, spa or whatever else they want to.
Post # 8
Thanks for the feedback! One of my BMs has been to another bachelorette in Vegas where she had to pay EVERYTHING for the bride. I am just not one of those brides! I’m definitely paying for my own airfare. The hotel will depend on what the BMs decide, but I still think I should pay for my own share.
We’re trying to find hotels in South Beach so it’s definitely on the pricey side! Hotels we’re looking at:
– Casa Grande – more like an apt/suite, great location on Ocean, but no pool/spa
– Sagamore – has the hip factor but reasonably priced, good location, has pool
– The Strand – nice boutique hotel, great location on Ocean, but very noisy
– The Regent – this was one of our early picks, its affordable and has a spa, but away from the buzz
Good luck on your hotel search!
Post # 9
im doing my bachelorette in miami as well. I’ll be going sometimes in may. Anyways, i’m paying for the major cost, such as airfare and hotels…etc my Maid/Matron of Honor already booked our hotel and it turned out to be in the middle of all most happening clubs and beach front for a very affordable price. Try Loews.
Post # 10
I also planned my own bachelorette since I didn’t have a bridal party. I chose to have the weekend at a common vacation spot (people travel here from all over the world) near my home, but my friends – who live all over – had to fly in. We had a great time. However, I asked my would-be Maid/Matron of Honor to ask the others to split the costs, which included me paying my own way – total would have been $75/person for everything. I was surprised that my friends felt that since they had purchased plane tickets to come, that I should pay for everything, including their food, alcohol and lodging. I felt kinda miffed but ended up paying for everything since it wasn’t worth losing their friendships. This probably could have been avoided if the money issue had been addressed up front and far in advance.
Additionally, I’ve also attended a $1000-weekend-bachelorette-party. It cost much more than I had anticipated but I know it meant a lot to the bride, a life-long friend, that I was there. If there’s any way you can squeeze out the money – and if the friendship is very important to you – try to make it if you can.
Post # 11
My Maid/Matron of Honor, bridesmaids and sisters planned and paid for everything for my bachelorette weekend in Vegas. It was definitely nice and I felt that they were treating me to a special weekend.
On the other side, I paid for all my bridesmaids’ dresses, alterations and shoes, so their wedding expenses would be the same as if they were attending as guests. I wanted it to be an honor to be a bridesmaid rather than a potential burden.
In the end, I think the money worked out about the same and we all felt like we were being treated.
Post # 12
I’m leaving it up to my Maid/Matron of Honor. I figure at least that is one thing that I don’t have to worry about.
Post # 13
I think the bride should pay for her airfare, hotel, etc. And then your girls can treat you to dinner, drinks, etc the night of the big event.
I live in South Florida, and I definitely recommend staying at one of the hotels "in" the action. Sitting pool side is very big at some hotels, and if you’re really looking to do the "south beach" thing, I think you’d really enjoy waking up, and walking downstairs to one of the "happening" pools, rather than being at a hotel that is a cab ride away.
Post # 14
- Wedding: June 2008 - Winery in the Gold Country
I wouldnt feel comfortable with my BMs footing my travel bill. I cant remember whether or not my BMs paid for my hotel, but I think they did… we did 4 to a room in Vegas so I think it was pretty reasonable. It’s typical for the BMs to pay for your food costs and lodging costs and also to buy you drinks, but I’m not sure the ettiquette beyond that! I tried to keep in mind that all their expenses were really adding up for our wedding. Like PPs said, drinks, meals on the BMs isnt that big of a deal, but unless they are INSISTING on paying for your other expenses, I’d personally just pay my own way.