Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor is planning a very elaborate bachelorette party/bridal shower for me that was supposed to be a surprise. However, one of my relatives actually disclosed to me what the surprise was because she was upset that she would be unable to attend because of the costs. A few of my other friends have also complained to me about not being able to afford to attend. I really appreciate the efforts that my Maid/Matron of Honor has made, but I am a little torn on whether to be excited to hang out with the girls that can attend (several have already sent me messages saying that they cannot wait) or a little upset that she has went a little overboard with the planning and that leaves out some people?
Post # 3
I say think of surprises by your BMs as gifts…you’d never complain to someone that their gift isn’t what you wanted or that you wished for something else, but thanks. (at least I hope none of us do past the age of 5) Enjoy the event she has planned for you. Also, if you’re concerned about all those who can’t attend, consider hosting a Bridal luncheon…a place to thank your BMs & include your other peeps in an event that shows you’re happy they’re attending your wedding.
Post # 4
I agree with going along with what she has planned for you. You can always have a lower cost shindig of some sort for everyone else. Maybe put a bug in one of the other BMs ears about an affair that others can attend. They can always come to the Shower.
Post # 5
First of all, it was really rude of your relative to ruin the surprise for you because she’s bitter about the money. You weren’t supposed to know so you shouldn’t even be thinking about any of this. That being said, just go along your business like you know nothing and be excited for those people who can make it. You can always do something else (a luncheon like a PP suggested) to include those who can’t make it.
ETA: I think your Maid/Matron of Honor would be really hurt and upset to know the surprise was ruined so I wouldn’t say anything to anyone.
Post # 5
Thanks ladies…I was leaning more towards that anyway as she is my best friend and I know that she just really wants to do something nice. I just didn’t want to be called a Bridezilla by those thinking that I planned the expensive party.
Post # 6
I understand how you feel. When I 1st got engaged my 2 MOH’s were like, “Vegas! Puerto Rico!” and I was like “Yaaay! Jersey!!” Haha – I wanted my bachelorette to be with everyone who could come, not just those that could afford it. I was really upfront about it too, but…
I agree with the others, she’s already put a good deal of time & effort into it and it’s supposed to be a surprise so I say let her have her fun, then enjoy yourself when it comes around. If you want to – have a smaller version of a girls day afterward where everyone can come. Make it clear that this one is a lot more low key so that it doesn’t become a big hoopla as well.