(Closed) bachelorette party/bridal shower-it is ok to do not have it?!?!

posted 9 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
829 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

We arent! I am having a shower but we decided to just have a night out with our bridal party and their significant others…

Post # 4
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

My friend lives in Philly now and all her family are all over the country.  The wedding is in Seatlle.  So we are planning to do something with her the first night we get to Seattle for the wedding. It will only be me, her, and her two sisters.  But we just wanted to do something for her since she’s not getting to have showers, etc.  You might see if you’re friend would be interested in hosting the bridesmaid luncheon the day of the wedding or something like that.

Post # 6
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I had a shower, but I had to go back to my hometown to do it because my mom and sister organized it for me, but couldn’t afford to travel here. I was happy to make the trip because we got married near them, and made a weekend out of visiting vendors and stuff.

BUT, we didn’t have b/ette parties. They weren’t our thing at all, and we just didn’t find it necessary. Not to mention our wedding party was all out of town anyway. I also made it clear from the beginning that I didn’t want anyone to organize those parties for us, and no one was surprised. Seriously not our thing.

I’ve never regretted that decision and I never felt like I was missing out on anything.

Post # 7
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I didn’t have either.  Honestly, I was a little sad for me that I couldn’t but it wasn’t really something I could justify flying a bunch of people out for.

Post # 10
1569 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I’m in a very similar situation. I live in Seattle now but all of my people are on the other side of the country. If I were to have a bachelorette and shower here, it would be me and my best friend (thank God she at least lives here) and a handful of women I enjoy hanging out with but who really aren’t my close, old friends at all. I mean, how could I have a bridal shower without my mom and Future Mother-In-Law there? So my solution was to fly out to their side of the country for one weekend, two months before the wedding. Hopefully the best friend will be able to make the trip too. Otherwise I would have been asking 5-10 people to fly out here for a weekend, and that makes a lot less sense. If that isn’t an option for you, then there are a lot of really nice but low-key alternatives, like you and the girls could go out after the rehearsal dinner together, or do something when they all arrive in town a few days before the wedding. Most of all, I’d advise you not to stress about it, let other people plan this stuff for you, and if it doesn’t end up coming together, then just let it go. It doesn’t sound like you’re that hung up on having a big bachelorette anyway.

Post # 11
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’m in a similar situation between people living all over and most of my friends are crazy stressed out trying to graduate PhD students locally.  It does not really bother me to not have one at this point.  My Fiance and I wanted a simple wedding and are trying to keep it that way.  FI is having a tough time with the thought of a registry and we have already told a number of people locally that we are not going to be able to invite everyone.  If they want to have a bbq or day on the lake sometime later in the summer to celebrate, great but if not that is ok.  


My advice is to go what fits you and your situation.  If that means you take some time a day or two before the wedding or you just go pamper yourself the evening of your FI’s bachelor party.  

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