(Closed) Bachelorette Party…Feeling bad!

posted 6 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

That’s a tough one. I think given your involvement with the shower and the fact that you let everyone know in advance when you were free, don’t cancel your birthday plans. You will be there for the wedding and you were there for the shower. It’s not your fault they scheduled the bachelorette on a day they knew you were unavailable. It sucks, but it seems like you did everything in your power to avoid this and have thus far been extremely attentive and helpful.

On that note, would you be available after birthday festivities to meet up with them, even for a little bit?

Post # 5
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I honestly think you should reschedule your birthday celebration..a birthday comes every year..her bachelorette is once in a lifetime..my friend’s bachelorette also happens to be on my birthday but I will attend the bachelorette (and im not even a bridesmaid) I see no reason why you cant do your birthday supper on one of those other weekends, Im sure your family would be ok with that

Post # 8
450 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@missjewels:  I think in your own way, you have made your decision. You are just looking for validation from us. Totally understandable. I see it as thus, Birthdays come once a year, but weddings and Batchelorette parties are once in a lifetime (hopefully). If I was in this situation, I would ask your family to get together another night. You will still get your family time and your bride will be ever thankful and have some amazing memories of her last night out, instead of having her heart broken that no one showed up.

Post # 9
3942 posts
Honey bee

Birthdays aren’t that big of a deal to me, so I would reschedule it and definetly attend my FSIL’s bachelorette. It’s not her fault that the other BM’s didn’t consider your schedule when planning.

Post # 10
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m with the masses, birthdays are every year, her bachelorette party happens once. Maybe have a birthday brunch with your family? Have a few mimosas and sober up in time for the night’s festivities. You have been an amazing bridesmaid so far, and I’m sure the bride appreciates and relies on that and as much as she would likely forgive you for missing it, I’m sure it will mean a whole lot to her to have you there.

Post # 11
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Yeah I kind of agree birthdays come every year. Have you thought of having a birthday brunch or lunch duriing the day, that way you could still celebrate your birthday and make her party.

I do think you have a good reason for missing the party as you made plans. However as her bridesmaid I think it would be a thoughtful and very nice gesture if you did everything you could to attend her party.

Post # 12
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Can’t you celebrate your birthday earlier? It’s a saturday, it’s not like everyone’s working. I celebrate mine and my families’ birthdays sometime during the week whichever day is most convenient.

You really didn’t give much availability and it must have been difficult for the other BMs to figure out a day.

Post # 13
1111 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Another vote for “birthdays come every year but a bachelorette is once in a lifetime.”  I would reschedule/skip my birthday celebration in this case.  You’ll have another one next year.

Post # 14
1765 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would reschedule my birthday celebration. I would rather skip celebrating my birthday for a year than miss a once in a lifetime celebration. But that’s just me! It sucks that they scheduled it on a day you told them you were unavailable 🙁

Post # 15
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I don’t think you have to cancel your birthday plans, but how do you think your Future Sister-In-Law will feel? One of my bridesmaids didn’t attend my bachelorette party because it was Memorial Day weekend and she goes to the lake with her family every Memorial Day. Another bridesmaid couldn’t come because she had to work and had a graduation party to go to. I was depressed for a good two weeks about my bachelorette party because of these two. I kept thinking, she goes to the lake every year–why can’t she skip it this year? Or, how is this graduation party more important than mine? But I got over it, and forgave them, because a bridesmaid is not a slave and I am a pretty laid-back bride. Looking back, do I wish they were there? Hell yeah! But do I fault them for not being there? No. It was their decision to make, and I still had a good time regardless.

So, I would just think about how your Future Sister-In-Law will feel in this instance, and make your decision based on that. If she is laid-back and won’t really care, go ahead with the birthday. I will say that I missed going to a wedding for a bachelorette party I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man in–oh, and I had to go to NEBRASKA for it (I live in Illinois lol). Thankfully we carpooled. 

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