(Closed) Bachelorette Planning Frustrations

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

Hmm, I am afraid they aren’t interested. Better make plans that will be affordable to everyone without them.

Post # 4
4884 posts
Honey bee

I would recommend not booking anything that runs the budget so razor tight that it will be unaffordable if anyone drops out, regardless of whether they respond.

Drop-outs and no-shows are a part of the deal sometimes with party planning.  No one likes to think it will happen, but budgets change, unexpected expenses crop up, jobs get lost, priorities change.  Unless you’re financially in a place to cover them or anyone else who may end up having to drop, I’d find something a bit more in the midrange of your budget then so that unexpected changes don’t end up causing as much of a financial burden in the end. 

Or roll the dice, book it, and cover the extra $40 for the two of them since you’ll be doing it without their feedback assuming they did agree to the price that was $20 lower.


Post # 5
78 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
bambiiandthefox :  If I were you I wouldn’t tell the bride and I’d resign myself to making simpler plans. At least that’s what I’d hope I would do!

Post # 6
591 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I would just say it’s $X and it’s for X weekend, they need to net you know by Tuesday if they are booking otherwise you’ll have to assume they aren’t interested.

Post # 7
9252 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

View original reply
bambiiandthefox :  It’s frustrating that they won’t come out and say something has changed, but their behavior is clearly showing that something has. When people’s words don’t line up with their actions, you have to believe the actions. These women aren’t interested in this trip any more. Asking the bride to “help out” which can only mean asking her to try guilt-tripping or otherwise intimidating them into doing it, is not the answer. Drop the weekend rental idea and see if they’re more open to a normal one-night party as opposed to a vacation.

Post # 8
392 posts
Helper bee

I have advice!! Don’t book the house!! I did this for a recent  bachelorette party and 4 of the original group of 10 dropped out. It caused a lot of stress because I had to put it on my card upfront and people dropped out afterwards after agreeing on budget and this particular house. I felt bad asking people for more money but that’s what had to be done for us all splitting the house, and kind of put everyone in a bad spot. If there is an option where people can book rooms at the same hotel do it!! People can decide if they want to share rooms and tell them to book all at the same time so you know there’s enough rooms. If they never do or decide they can’t make it then that’s their problem. I double recommend this if you don’t know a lot of the people well

Post # 9
2661 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’d send a final but polite text saying “Hi, I’ve been trying to get hold of you about booking the party but to no avail. I assume at this point that your plans have changed and that you can unfortunately no longer make it, which is a real shame. I”ll be booking something tomorrow so if you still wish to attend then please call me by noon tomorrow so that I can be sure to include you!.”

It may well be that they can’t afford it, in which case it would be decent of you to change the venue. Only you can judge that though. I know that wedding costs add up and it causes a lot of stress and resentment for those who can’t afford it – then they are too embarrassed to say so they can’t vent.

Do not involve the bride. It will be stressful and make her feel like crap because her close friends are being awkward.

Post # 10
9251 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Agree with pp’s do not book it unless you are willing to cover the full cost of the house. The best way to handle something like this is to get people to forward you their contribution by x date so you can book. If they do not pay then they do not stay.

I got burnt by being nice and pre-paying for all the tickets for one of my sisters hen’s parties and then had to wear the cost of multiple people backing out. It sucked but it was my own fault.

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