Post # 1
I’m not having a wedding party, so one of my friends kindly offered to throw a bachelorette party for me. I’m really grateful that she would offer, but the whole thing is stressing me out! My friend really wants to get a limo to take a group of girls on a wine tour of Northern Ohio (there’s a group of wineries out here). The trouble is that it would cost about $100 each for the limo, plus whatever food and wine each girl orders. Some of my friends are really financially strapped and I don’t feel right asking them to do this. I told my friend this and she said she would help pay for anyone who objected to the cost. But I don’t think the girls that can’t comfortably afford it would say anything, they would just pay for it because they wouldn’t want to make me feel bad.
So, I was venting to another friend that I really don’t want a party, or would just like a dinner get-together somewhere local that doesn’t involve limos, etc. She offered to contact the first friend to try to steer the event back towards what I suggested. But now they’ve talked and both are full steam ahead with the limo winery tour. What should I do? I pointed out that this is going to be very expensive for those friends who aren’t as well off and both of them said “oh, we’ll help with the cost” but I don’t think that they’ll be willing to cover the total cost of the limo. Do I continue to say something to the party planners? Just let it happen? Help!
Post # 3
@Ms. Kitty: Awww! It sounds like they are really excited for you!! If it were me, I’d kindly tell them that I’d prefer a dinner at a nice restaurant that’s local. When one of them brings up the party, politely reinforce that that is not what your wishes are. I’m sure they are just wanting to help you create a wonderful memory, but they also should respect your wishes. Good luck!
Post # 4
@Ms. Kitty: I would just relax and let it happen. It’s very sweet and considerate of you to be concerned about your friends’ finances but if some pitch in to help cover for others, and they’re all ok with it, you shouldn’t stress too much. It sounds as though these ladies really love you and want to make it special for you. So, graciously accept their generosity and enjoy!
Post # 5
@Ms. Kitty: For some reason it feels like there is something about the whole thing that you don’t know if your one friend switched to the limo idea. I would just mentioned your concerns to both of them, and thank them for being so generous for planning the whole thing. That is awesome that they are so excited for you!
Post # 6
@Ms. Kitty: I looooove the wineries out in Geneva/Madison/Thompson.. I’m in the Cleveland area too 🙂 If they’re willing to help cover what the other girls can’t, I’d let them do it. Also, if you know anyone that has one of those “All Around Town” coupon books, kinda like the Entertainment Book, there’s a coupon in there for 50% off All Occassion Limo which is based out of Mentor-on-the-Lake.. that could save a lot of money! The “All Around Town” is a local coupon book, it also has coupons for some of the wineries out there! If you go, be sure to stop at South River, that’s my fave 🙂
Post # 7
I would let it happen. This is a party for you that they are throwing, and if your friend is willing to pitch in to the other friends to help make this happen (which I think is unbelievably good hearted, sweet, kind, wonderful and all of that) then you need to let it happen.
They are doing a wonderful thing for you. The more you try to get them to change they may think you are ungrateful or picky. Your friends have this figured out. Just sit back, and Let it happen and it will be wonderful!
Post # 8
I’d let them plan it. At the end of the day it’s your friends responsibilities to make their own financial decisions. They sound really excited and you’ve already expressed your concerns about the event being too expensive.
Post # 9
Awww, your girls sound so sweet! I would just let it happen. The other girl has already offered and is willing to pitch in for whoever can’t, and that is so kind of her!
Just enjoy your party and your amazing friends!!
Post # 10
Just had to say… I’m getting married the day before you and my bachelorette will also be a limo wine tour (but in Long Island). I also was stressed about how much it would cost, but I decided to just let it go because I know my sister (MOH) planned with all the girls and all of them are the type to speak up if they can’t afford something.
Post # 11
I would just relax and enjoy the nice day they are planning. Your friends are all adults and can decide for themselves if they can or can’t afford to attend. Don’t make those decisions for them. If you have a generous friend who is offering to cover some or all of the limo, let her— but perhaps check around to see if there is a groupon or similar offer that can help control the costs. Limos are on groupon all the time (or living social, tippr, whatever, tons of discount sites out there).
Post # 12
In addition to what other posters said, since both girls offered assistance to other girls financially, I would have a private conversation with anyone you think might be struggling to afford it. Even something as casual as, “when they suggested it I thought it might be too expensive, but they told me if any girl needed help to cover the cost, they’d be totally willing,” that way other girls would know they could ask for help.
Post # 13
So sweet! I was having major anxiety about how much my girls could be spending on my bachelorette party (this weekend!) and they all just laughed at me and said “we want to do it!” It’s not up to us to decide what they spend their money on…even if it’s us!
Post # 14
I agree with PPs. You’ve done your part now let them handle it and enjoy whatever they come up with!