- 4 years ago
- Wedding: March 2014
I feel super bummed today and about in tears. This is me venting, I’m not ungrateful or anything else so if you are going to just bitch at me, please don’t bother. I kind of want some advice but not if it is going to be rude. My feelings are really hurt and I feel like I should talk to her about it but I’m not sure if it is even worth it.
On Saturday my FI and I went out for our “surprise” bachelor/bachelorette party. We had no idea what was going on or who was going just to be at MOH’s house at 6pm and the dress code is casual. I’ve been bummed out because of family drama and by the fact that 2 out of 4 bridesmaids (including MOH) have done absolutely nothing to help me or make me feel special and in fact have been a bigger pain than anything else. Honestly, she is more concerned about her being the center of attention and standing out from the rest of the bridesmaids than she is about me or how I feel. But I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt.
We show up to a couple of “willy” decorations on her bar and she made me a glass to drink out of. Then both sets of parents show up. Yup. For the party. My mom, not bad at a party, his mom… total stick in the mud and gets after you for being inappropriate… not a good fit for this type of party. Still trying to give her the benefit of the doubt…
Then we leave her house for our night of “fun”. She takes us to a totally trashy dive bar about 10 minutes from her house. Oh, but don’t worry, she went all out by reserving some tables for us. Ummmmm, it’s 7pm and a dive bar, every table is empty. The girls go to a table and we play this stupid guessing game called bride’s dirty little secrets. Not too shabby, I love games, but then HER friends show up. Mind you I don’t get invited to anything that these friend’s do and I don’t really care for the majority of them so why they are at my bachelorette party I will never know. As soon as her first friend shows up she says, ok we need to hurry and get this game over with. We read a couple more cards then she tells me that I lost (not sure how that happened) and they go get me three huge shots. After that her other friends arrive and it was like I didn’t exist for the remainder of the time. I felt like she was in a rush to get me drunk and then spent the rest of the night with her other friends.
And it isn’t just me that was upset about it. My mom, FI and 4 other friends all agreed that it was a terrible choice, nothing my fiance or I would EVER pick to do and completely lacked any kind of effort on her part. His best man is his brother, my MOH is his sister, each of their spouse’s are also in the bridal party. Between the 4 of them that was the best they could come up with. My friend tried to tell her that I wouldn’t like that place and suggested we do a couple of other things on the other side of town (mind you MOH and BM live in Timbuktu and everyone else lives in town, 40 minutes away) but she said she didn’t want to drive that far. But it is ok for us to all drive to you? Seriously?
After her other friend’s showed up and we realized that that was as good as it was going to get about 8 of us just dipped out and went to a different place and had a much better time.
I’m disappointed because I didn’t feel like anything about that night was about us. It was more about everyone else. Honestly my feelings are so hurt I have been sick about it all day long and want to cry at the drop of a hat. I’ve seen the nice things she has done for other friend’s and the thoughtful parties she has planned for other people so why do her brother and I get this crap? It was so awkward and lame and literally she didn’t plan a thing. Not a single thing. We went to a bar. Just a plain old, dumpy, out in the middle of nowhere bar. It isn’t about money or anything else. I would have preferred we stayed in and had a slumber party and played games for free than go to this place. And it isn’t just me that felt that way. My fiance’s feelings are equally as hurt. BTW, MOH’s bday party is at a better bar this Saturday night. I’m curious to see what she has planned.
Were you disappointed by your bachelorette party? How did you get past it? Should I say something to her?