Post # 1
As MOH, I gave estimates of all these costs for the combo bridal shower/bachelorette day & night extravaganza to all the invited ladies (estimates were slightly higher than actuals below) to see which they were interested in a few months in advance. None of the girls have any of the typical bridesmaids’ expenses (dress etc.). The girls responded they were interested in all of the activities and that the prices were fine. Most girls want to do all of the activities, but I’ve been clear that ppl can pick & choose based on cost, etc. with no problem planning-wise.
All costs include splitting the cost for the bride and tip where applicable.
As MOH, I’m trying to figure out if I should (1) cover all of one or more costs/events, (2) subsidize some part of it, (3) pay fully for the bride’s costs, or (4) if I shouldn’t do any of those and should just increase the value of my gift to the newlyweds.
If you were attending a bachelorette, are there any of the costs below that seem to be too much? If anything, what would you most prefer MOH to subsidize or pay for?
-homemade breakfast in hotel suite: max $10 each
-all day wine tour w/shuttle, driver, tasting fees, & lunch included: max $120-$125 per person
-cupcake baking party (by award-winning pro baker), this will also be the shower w/games & gift opening: max $55-80 per person
-take-out or pizza in hotel suite: max $15 per person
-going out for drinking/dancing: no set amount, each girl will just cover herself and get someting for the bride if she wants
-hotel suite for the night before (since it’s an early morning) and the night of the bachelorette: max $60-110 per person
Post # 3
I don’t think the bride should have to pay for anything. Usually, the guests shouldn’t have to cover the bride other than some drinks.
Everything else needs to be worked out with the bridal party. Some people prefer to split it evenly, others prefer to cover certain things. It depends on what people can afford.
Post # 4
@AB Bride: Yes, there’s no question that the bride won’t be paying for anything. The costs I listed were if all ppl attending paid for themselves & split the cost of the bride. The only question regarding the bride’s costs is whether I’ll cover them fully on my own as MOH, or whether everybody attending will split them (her costs never add more than $10 or $20 per person for an activity).
There’s no bridal party to work this all out with. She has a very small bridal party with most of her good friends not in the bridal party, so there won’t be any specific bridal party plans/decisions.
All of the ladies attending/invited said they could afford those estimates & that the pricing looked fine.
Post # 5
I through a BP for my sister when I was her MOH. I paid for all of the food, drinks and setup and took care of the transportation but was a little surprised when it came time to pay for dinner. We were at a nice restaurant and they would not split the check in any way… I ended up footing the entire bill, none of her friends even gave me cash to cover theirs.
Not only was this the first BP I’ve thrown but it was the first I have been to so I wasn’t sure if this was normal…
Post # 6
since this is a shower/bachelorette party, i think the bridal party should cover the costs of the breakfast in suite and pizza.
guests are not expected to pay for food at a shower.
as a bride, i am expecting to pay my own way for my bachelorette party. my MOH has not started planning, so i don’t know what the official plan is yet, but I plan to contribute.
Post # 7
@Shkragoldfish: I’m confused, are there no bridemaids, it’s just you as MOH?
Post # 8
I would have everyone attending pay for a portion of the bride’s costs. You shouldn’t have to take that on by yourself unless you really want to.
Post # 9
It sounds like most bees are saying that, as MOH, I should pay for the breakfast & bridal shower portion of it (the cupcake baking party by a pro) and that each attendee could split the bachelorette costs for whichever portions they attend (wine tour, delivery/pizza dinner, drinks out, & hotel if they stay the night), right?
There is no chance the bride will be paying for any part of the bachelorette or the shower. That sounds odd & I don’t get why that’d happen for any bride. Also, I’ve never heard of the MOH paying by herself for a full day’s worth of bachelorette events – none of the bride’s gfs are asking for that or expecting that. They’re all fine w/splitting all of the costs, but if it’s cool/right for me to pay for all of the official shower part of it, I can/will.
@ajillity81: @AB Bride: There are a couple bridesmaids, but barely any will be able to make the shower/bachelorette (the bride knows this and is fine with it because most are from out of town & flights/timing is difficult for them to make the wedding and the bachelorette/shower). Of the few bridesmaids that there are, any who will be at the shower are fine paying for themselves and chipping in for the bride, but the bridesmaids attending the bachelorette/shower do not have funds to pay for anything beyond that.
Post # 10
@Kingler1016: For every bachelorette I’ve been to, the ladies attending all covered their own costs. At some, the amount we paid, included extra to cover the bride’s costs. At others, the MOH or the person planning the bachelorette covered all of the bride’s costs. I have never ever heard of MOH paying for the entire bachelorette by herself- that sounds kinda crazy & I’m sorry that happened to you.
Post # 11
@Shkragoldfish: if all the ladies attending are ok with the costs you laid out to them, then i wouldn’t worry about any of it and go with your original plan.