Post # 16
futuremrssaldana: No need to apologize! I mean that his thoughts over his behavior simply do not deserve your time or attention. You did the right thing by leaving that relationship, as the examples of his behavior that you provided are really horrifying. Now you deserve to focus on your thoughts, feelings, future, and happiness. I see his “apology” as just an attempt to get in the way of your progress by bringing your thoughts back to him. You deserve to be happy, and if you can, I would recommend just moving on. Trying to make sense of or analyzing his behavior probably won’t be as satisfying as just realizing that you don’t need to analyze or solve it, you are free to focus on yourself, and on eventually finding a healthy and wonderful relationship.
Post # 17
It varies, and sometimes we look back on it differently
ex1) ex boyfriend was emotionally manipulative. Was not only aware but pretty open about it (I was in a bad way)
ex2) another ex broke up with me because he wasn’t in love with me any more (had started ghosting me, after 2 years together and house hunting)
He was always trying to one up me our whole relationship talking about “how easy it was for him to pick up chicks when he was single” and needing the last word in an argument… he once tried to give me euchre lessons on “why I was playing my hand wrong” when I’d won 3 of the last 4 games…
recently told a friend of mine he “broke up with [lmo013] so that she could flourish and live the life she deserved” – see: bullshit. he was bored and wanted out and is now seeing himself as my saviour because i’m living a happy life. yeah. sure. whatever.
Post # 18
mangosandcats: I can definitely see where this is coming from. I am in a new loving healthy relationship and haven’t been happier! My problem is that I do try to solve everything that happened and make sense of it all. I’m not sure why but I do have the tendency to do it. I understand he was the way he was and God knows how he is now.
I think too, that most of us who have gotten out of abusive relationships tend to wonder whether it was all in our head or were they really bad.
Post # 19
lmo013: Yeah I can see how they twist and turn their actions once again to come out on top. It’s funny, when I left him he started his whole work out regime, dresses completely different to how he used to and just seems like a completely “different” person. A year after our break up my cousin told me he seemed pretty bummed about our break up. She said that he was ready to propose and buy a house, he always supported my dreams and not once told me not to talk to my family/friends I had stopped talking to due to the relationship. It made me so mad because I felt like he was trying to make himself look like the victim! How pathetic, and now he tries to make it seem like he has the most perfect life, all I can do is feel sorry for him his new gf and baby on the way.