(Closed) Back from vacation…no ring :(

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
  • poll: Shut it up or tell him how upset I am?

    Shut it up at least until after 30th birthday next month

    Shut it up as long as it takes

    Tell him I'm upset he didn't propose when he said he would

  • Post # 18
    Member
    4522 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

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    @JLR1982:  Now see, *that* I can get behind ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m always after the budget option!

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    @aithinne:  I’m definitely not expecting fireworks or anything fancy; he could propose in the Wal-Mart parking lot and I’d say yes. But I’d be lying if I said I’m not hoping for at least a semi-public proposal ๐Ÿ˜ก I have always loved when we’ve been somewhere and someone proposed in front of us ๐Ÿ™‚

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    @Countant819:  Then I wouldn’t say anything to him just yet, honestly. It sounds like he just didnt want you to be expecting it ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 19
    Member
    12244 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Sorry about the no ring… Maybe on your birthday, though!

    Post # 20
    Member
    3370 posts
    Sugar bee

    @Countant819:  Take heart, it may be a couple things. Maybe he planned something and it didn’t work out. Maybe he’s nervous and when it came down to it he got cold feet. Maybe he’s planning something else and that whole scheme was to throw you off the scent. I would give it another month or two and then if he still doesn’t do it, bring it up in a non-confrontational way and let him know how hurt you are.

    Post # 21
    Member
    27 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    While it is infuriating that he seems clueless but it’s so cute that he thought to give you a lecture on how vacations must come to an end!! LOL. That’s really kinda adorable!

    Post # 22
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee

    You told him it’s stupid to take a ring to Mexico.  To many men, proposal = give very pretty ring, not bubble gum ring, flower, etc.

    Post # 23
    Member
    567 posts
    Busy bee

    This is what concerns me about my SO: that he’ll keep waiting for a exotic moment.  I just want him to propose in private, on one of our walks somewhere.

    Post # 24
    Member
    4521 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

    I feel you, because I just had a perfect vacation filled with perfect moments, and am not engaged either. However, you did tell him not to. It’s so hard to wait, but try to enjoy the couple you are now rather than see yourself as just waiting on something better.

    Post # 25
    Member
    365 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

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    @DaisyBelle:  + 1000

     

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    @Countant819:  Seriously, I don’t understand why so many people are telling you to shut up. It boggles the mind. You are BOTH concerned in this huge decision (engaging to spend your lives together), WHY in the world do you have to wait months or years until HE decides “yep, it is a good moment now, she stewed long enough, I’ll let her have the ring, she’ll be thrilled and forever grateful”. It is your life too, you would never act like that if it was about a promotion, a new job, a big purchase, etc. You would demand to know what is going on if you were concerned or financing half of the thing. 

    I just don’t understand why so many guys believe they have the sole decision power in this (my bf was like that, not anymore lol), why girls believe they must shut up and let the “man” decide everything and talk about it when they want, and I wonder mostly why so many other girls tell each other to shut up. It is your life. If you want to talk about it and ask what are his intentions, well why not?? You would do it for anything else!

    Post # 26
    Member
    365 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    I would like to add that where I am from, whether couples have been together one or 20 years, both members of the couple talk about it and decide together to get engaged. They are usually no proposals, unless one of them is very young and the other wants to demonstrate an engagement to wait until he or she is done with his or her studies. But I mean, among adults, they are lots of discussions, and none of that fuss. I kind of like that!

    Post # 27
    Member
    1238 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2015

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    @soupir:  I love that your culture/society allows ya’ll to do that. I’ve asked my SO to marry me, he said I’m not supposed to do that. I’m waiting on him to propose, although I did say that it should be a joint decision, he just doesn’t see it that way. I think that’s why a lot of us advocate waiting a while longer, just to see what happens.

    Post # 28
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee

    @Countant819:  I had a very similiar situation when I thought my SO was going to propose when we were in Mexico almost two weeks ago. I had the same exact reaction as you – total devestation and confusion as to why all of these perfect moments happened but yet there was NO proposal. I don’t have any good advice other than I know EXACTLY how you are feeling. Just hang in there, we’ve been home for two weeks now and I still haven’t see the ring (but I know he has it). I’m trying to keep my mind off of it and not to dwell on it… But like you, I was almost in tears at the end of the trip when I realized it wasn’t going to happen.

    We will survive ๐Ÿ˜‰ ((hugs))

    Post # 29
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee

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    @soupir:  Because some women like fairy tales and romance.  I prefer not to talk about getting engaged like it is a business transaction.  To each their own.

    Post # 30
    Member
    365 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @Sunflower–girl:  Fair enough. Thanks for explaining… that helps me understand this side of the story. But I am still upset about the girls who DO want to talk about it and can’t! 

    Post # 31
    Member
    9680 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

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    @DaisyBelle:  +1. Wow, the more I come across your posts on the boards, the more I feel like you are my bee soul mate, lol.

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