Well I was trying hard to take the advice given on the poll (shut it up as long as it takes), but I failed. I did at least manage to take the advice of shutting it up until after my 30th bday.
We were out to dinner (I had a couple margaritas, ugh!) when he was texting with a former boss. I’ve mentioned in one of my earlier posts that about 13 months ago he was relocated out of state, I was able to relocate with my own company to the same area. I knew his company wouldn’t leave him here forever and not to try and make this a permanent home, but he also told me he should be here AT LEAST 5 years.
While we are eating he tells me this former boss he is talking to is probably retiring soon and the rumor is my boyfriend will be his replacement (meaning he would have to relocate back to our former city).
I became visibly upset and he knew it. I was partially sad because I really love my new job and love the group of people I’m working with so I am in no hurry to leave again.
We pretty much drove home in silence and then he says that I should be happy if we get moved back to our former city, that my friends and family are there and it would mean I could transfer with my company again instead of having to look for a new job if he got moved to a totally different city. This is when I couldn’t shut it up anymore. I didn’t like applying for this job and when asked why I would want to move saying I wanted to move to follow my boyfriend. I told him I wasn’t comfortable asking to relocate for a “boyfriend” again and that when I agreed to move here I thought we would be married before we had to move again, since I was told we would be here AT LEAST 5 years. He claims he said UP TO 5 years and insisted I misheard him. Even if I thought it was only going to be a year, I would have thought we would at least be engaged before he was transferred again because I thought a proposal was imminent when I moved here.
I got very emotional at this point (darn you tequila) and brought up the fact he told me he was going to propose in Mexico. I expected him to blame me for telling him not to, but instead he just said, “oh yeah… I did say that…well… I decided that was just too corny and not my style” I got really hurt at this point and the tears started. I would have preferred he blame me then acting like he half forgot and half thought his romantic idea was now “too corny”.
During our argument he points out that his sister and her new husband were together 7 years and now that they are married they are fighting all the time, as if it is scaring him off from marriage. I’m partially frustrated at his parents for this one… it sounds like his sister and her husband have had a couple silly newlywed arguments and his parents feel the need to tell him this during their weekly Sunday calls every week.
He ended up asking if I was giving him an ultimatum. I said no.. I’m not saying I will leave him if he doesn’t propose, but I did say I refuse to follow him back to our old city or to any other city unless we were married.
I don’t know what has happened, usually when we have a talk I feel a little better when it is over. This time I felt a million times worse, I no longer feel like it could happen any day now. I think the fact I just turned 30 is getting to me. He has always said and continues to say he wants kids of his own, and now I suddenly feel the clock ticking.