(Closed) Back to the Hive – why do I feel like I don't deserve to enjoy this?

posted 6 years ago in Encore
Post # 2
Member
923 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

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Dragonsus:  Honestly, I feel like I deserve to enjoy it more this time around because the first wedding/marriage was such a disaster. 

Be Happy! Enjoy this time!

Post # 3
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think it’s normal to feel like you don’t deserve to enjoy planning another wedding, but you have to remind yourself that you absolutely deserve to be with someone who treats you right.  If you know that he does, then there’s nothing to feel guilty about.  I think what really helped me was seeing how supportive my family and friends were after I got engaged for the second time.  Once I knew they were ok with me getting remarried, I was able to enjoy planning my second wedding without any of the guilt that I felt initially.  ๐Ÿ™‚  And if anyone close to you isn’t being supportive or is saying things to make you feel like you don’t deserve to be happy, then screw them!!

Post # 4
Member
1435 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Enjoy every second you have and every plan you make with this man who ‘makes your heart sing’. That’s special! 

Post # 5
Member
1303 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Hawksnest Cove Beach St John USVI

I felt that way but honestly,I felt like I planned the wedding I wanted not the wedding I thought people wanted me to have. I said screw expectations and drama. We had a beach wedding with 12 guests. I wasn’t stressed at all and I love my husband and I’m happy as can be. Juat plan the wedding for the 2 of you and enjoy it ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 6
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

I planned my first wedding on here 4 years ago. I sometimes feel the same way but I know this is how it should have been all along. I’m worried what other people think more than anything else and I need to figure out how to get over that.

Post # 7
Member
3107 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

I definitely understand what you mean. I feel like ive already done it and should just keep it low key but on the other hand it feels so right this time, my first wedding I didn’t even really care about because I guess deep down I kind of knew we weren’t right together but I wouldn’t admit it to myself. I’ve grown so much and been through hell with my ex and am so happy and finally with the person I’m meant to be with and I feel that deserves celebrating. 

Post # 8
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - backyard wedding!!

I am not having a big wedding or anything like I did with my first time around…but I DO feel like I deserve love and marriage and all of that. I feel like the first time around I settled and had a horrible marriage and it SUCKED. But I did get my son out of the deal; and my Fiance got his daughter so there’s a reason for all that crap. NOW we have each other and are so in love and it’s great!

Post # 9
Member
1225 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

The first time I got married I wanted to have a quiet city hall ceremony. I ended up with a big church wedding.  Evidently my family couldn’t accept that. I had the wedding that they wanted and wore the dress that they wanted and had no say in any aspect of my wedding.  This time I will choose my own dress and have a small wedding in the venue of my choosing.  Now my family is ashamed and wants me to wear a pantsuit in a ceremony at city hall. My fiance and I are paying for the wedding but that hasn’t stopped them from criticizing us and ruining the entire planning phase.  I no longer discuss any aspect of planning with them.

 

Post # 10
Member
212 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Bellagio, Las Vegas

I feel as if it is even more special this time around. I’m proud of the man I’m marrying, and I’m happy to be planning a wedding. I didn’t have a wedding before. It was just the courthouse because I was pregnant. I wanted to give my son the best start possible, even though I didn’t care much for his father and he didn’t like me all that much either. We lasted 5 years, but it was a painful 5 years.

So yes, I deserve this! (: It is totally opposite of the first time around. Enjoy planning! Congrats!

Post # 11
Member
418 posts
Helper bee

you have been through a lot… you deserve, as much as anyone else, all the happiness in the world!  

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