Post # 1
This week was my first week back after 3 months of being home with my baby 24/7 and I’m having a really hard time with it. The first few days, I basically just cried all day (and I am not a crier!). We’re actually really lucky because my husband works from home so she’s with him rather than having to put her in daycare or hire a nanny but it’s still so difficult. I miss her so much but mostly since I’m out of the house for 10 hours a day (and most of the time that I am home she spends sleeping since it’s nighttime), I’m afraid that she’s going to forget me. I know we spent her first 3 months forming a really intimate bond but was that enough? Will she still feel as safe with me and loved by me now that we only get to spend a couple of her waking hours together? I realize these may be illogical fears but I can’t stop worrying about it. For those moms who went back to work, how did you handle it? People keep telling me it gets easier every day but so far it certainly doesn’t feel that way. Any tips on how to make it through?
Post # 3
Your feelings are completely normal! My mom has owned a daycare for over 40 years and I promise you that EVERY mom feels the exact same way at the beginning. Your child won’t forget you, and you’re teaching her an important lesson: that people other than mommy can ALSO be trusted too. This helps build confidence!
Post # 4
My best friend has a similar set up. She had to go back to work and the childcare is split between her husband and her mom. It has gotten easier for her although she still wishes she had more time with her daughter. But this has been the set up since January and her daughter absolutely adores her.
A tip I got this week (that doesn’t help you now but may be helpful to others): Try to go back to work mid-week. Then you only have to put in 2-3 days before the weekend. It sounded like a great idea to me. Eases everyone in a little bit.
And hang in there!
Post # 5
I work in the infant room at a preschool and let me tell you that EVERYONE goes through this.. What about asking hubby to meet you for lunch one day a week to make things a little easier?
Post # 6
@LpCutiPie: The lunch date is a great idea! My Future Sister-In-Law and her husband did this, and it worked really well for them. Also, if you end up needing daycare, there are a lot of upsides. Their daughter is 16 months now, and does daycare 3 days a week (FSIL is a therapist who works 2 days a week, Future Brother-In-Law is a scientist that works full time), and the daycare is actually really, really good for her. She’s been learning Spanish, I can’t believe how well she rolls her R’s! Also, it’s a small group of kids, so it’s very tight-knit, and it helps her to get socialized. There are tons of positive things that can happen when you are and are not with your baby! Hang in there!!
Post # 7
We’re doing the same thing. I go back in a week and a half, with mr dg staying home.
I know I’m gonna freak, so I have no words of wisdom.
To make it worse I’m going to be doing some overnight shifts 🙁 How is my baby gonna survive without being able to take a bottle?
They tell me it will get easier, so that’s what I’m gonna tell you… but just know that I feel ya!
Post # 8
Ugh, I feel you guys. I only have two weeks left of maternity leave and I am just dreading going back. I think we picked a really great nanny, but I literally break down in tears every time I realize my baby is going to be spending 40 hours a weeks with someone other than us. I’ll get as much awake time with her the whole rest of the week as the nanny will while I’m working! 🙁
To make matters worse, my husband will be working nights for at least the first two weeks I’m back to work, so I won’t get to see him either (he gets home after I will have left for the day, and he’ll leave for work before I get home). Let me in on any great insights you discover; I think I’ll need them.
Post # 9
Yup, it’s definitely tough and right now the only piece of advice I have for anybody about to go back to work is: bring tissues. Lots and lots of tissues. Going into my 2nd week back now and it’s definitely not easier but it’s true that it certainly makes my time at home with my daughter and husband that much sweeter.
@LpCutiPie The lunch date is a great idea but unfortunately, I commute about 3 hours each day on the train so it would be a lot for my husband to come to where I work with the baby just for lunch. Luckily, we both have the new iPhones so we can videochat on the phone!
Post # 10
I had to go back to work at 8 weeks! (That was after I asked for ANOTHER two weeks of vacation over my maternity leave!) It was so hard. It still is (and we’re at 13 weeks now). I still feel pangs of guilt when MightyGroom calls and says that she’s talking or she discovered her hands or her hair, and I wasn’t there to see it. And when I get home she’s cranky and tired and doesn’t want to show off all the new skills she has. I have to wait for the weekend to see them. 🙁
My only words of wisdom are to prepare yourself to sort of bring her with you to work. Bring photos. Get an audio recorder and record her laughing or babbling. Bring a onesie you like that smells like her. I do all of those things to trigger my letdown reflex to pump at work, but they do make me feel better when I’m missing her too.
(My Darling Husband isn’t back at school yet, so he has been watching her at home. That made me feel better because at least she isn’t with a stranger!)
Post # 11
8 weeks, MS?! That’s crazy!
Post # 12
I return to the office next Wednesday and I am already prepared to lose it especially since I have an hr commute. It will be the longest commute ever! Like Mighty, I will be returning to work 9 weeks post baby. Although I have been home for the last two months, 2 weeks post op I was working from home at my own pace.
Next Wednesday is also the same day our Dirty Delete will be starting child care. I think what will make it easier for me is that I won’t be the one dropping her off. I will wake up early and leave for work. I am pretty sure it will be harder for the hubby since he has to drop her off. He actually took 8 days off after the baby was born and when he returned to work he missed the baby so much. So of course that is all I hear nowadays from him. I know it’s going to hurt like hell but there is not much I can do about it. One good thing is that the hubby does work 2nd shift so he will only take her to the center when he is heading into work so she will technically be there part time until I get out of work. Also, the center is 2 doors down from his job so he will visit her on his breaks.