It took me many years to learn and master this. Its okay to say NO and not give a reason as to why.
You’re not a bad friend for saying you choose to not go to a bachlorette party. Heck, you’re not a bad friend if you choose not to go to a wedding.
Where things go south is when someone is not direct in what they are okay with and what they are not okay with (Not directly stating how much they will contribute, saying “maybe” or “okay” or “I dont know yet” instead of yes or no.
I’m not saying you did this, but it seems there must have been a bit of a miscommunication since others were also not okay with the expenses and were able to drop out of the bachlorette party, but it seems as though you are the only one who is being picked on.
Regardless of the above, the Maid/Matron of Honor is a brat.
I was in a friend’s wedding. Her wedding was over 3 hours away, I had a plus one and was newly single at the time. I brought my friend, who had met the bride on several occassions. I brought her since her husband was deployed over seas and it was on Valentine’s Day.
My friend gave everyone a plus one for the reherarsal dinner, except me. Its a long story like yours, that started with the mistreatment of not only myself, but my friend, so I wont get in to it. I put a smile on my face and kept saying, “its okay, its her wedding” until others started to notice her behavior towards me. I still attended the wedding and then after the wedding I addressed her behavior and never spoke to her again, I was done. Reflecting on it now, I should have just walked out and not stayed for the night.
Some may say, its her wedding, don’t ruin it, but you’re not ruining it. There comes a time where you can vividly see whether or not the friendship will continue, and I was at a point where I did not have the desire to have the friendship continue. That’s a decision that only you can make.
With regard to you not receiving a plus one, thats the bride & groom’s decision and they have a right to invite who they want. I would not focus too much on the plus one, the rest is pretty horrible.
With regard to your responses to bees, it does not matter:
- How much money the bride and groom have
- That the bride comes from a working class family
- Whether the bride and groom have gone on vacations or not.
- That you’re spending the same amount on your house as they are spending on their wedding day
I felt these comments were a bit catty. They have the right to plan whatever they want to for the bachlorette, wedding, and every event they have. YOU have the right to choose to participate in a limited capacity or not at all.