Post # 1
I need a little lesson in etiquette from you bees…
I originally told my BMs that I would pay for their hairstyles. Now, with 8 days to go, we’re running a few hundred dollars short, and a couple of bridesmaids have asked me about the price of hairstyles (because they forgot I said I would pay). I would really like for them to pay because its going to be tough for Fiance and I to pay for everything in the next few days. But the other BMs all think that we are paying for their hair.
What do I do??? Tell all the bridesmaids to pay? Or suck it up and put something on a credit card? I really don’t want to tell them that we’re running short on cash :(.
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden
If they are close to you, and the hair styling is reasonable, I think they would understand. As a bridesmaid, I would. Also, this lets them find their own if they want to. Worst case maybe split with them, or take them out for manicures instead?
Post # 4
this close to the wedding and out of respect for your BM’s i say suck it up and pay for it.
i’m sure they’ve put in their share of time, money, and effort and i think that springing this on them (the ones taht think ur paying) so lsat minute is kind of rude… and for those that are willing to pay (i don’t think u’d feel comfortable taking advantage of their forgetfulness).
put it this way, it’s going to be a few hundred dollars now, but a lifetime worth of friendships and memories! 🙂
Post # 5
Personally, I would just suck it up and put it on a CC. Your bridesmaids are probably trying to budget too and it would s*ck to find out a week before that you had to shell out more money that you weren’t expecting.
Post # 6
Hmmm, tough one. If you already said you would pay, I think you should just suck it up and pay. You definitely can’t pay for some and not all. Or, you could pay a portion of the cost and have them pay the rest (dunno how you would bring this up though without letting them know you’re running out of cash).
Post # 7
I agree with the other ladies who have said “suck it up”. I’m sure your bridesmaids are incurring expenses to be a part of your wedding, and this is one expense that they were told they didn’t need to pay for. They probably would be understanding, but they would probably also be pretty irked that your offer was revoked.
Post # 8
So pay. Gotcha. That was my intent… just wanted to make sure! Thx!
Post # 9
I have to agree. I think you should still pay.
If you originally didn’t offer, or just had someone set up “in case” they wanted to pay for it, that would be fine. The BMs would have had enough time to pulls funds, decide if they could find something cheaper, use their own hair dresser if need be, or investigate how to create a cute do by themselves. But this close to the wedding, I think you are not leaving them enough time to figure stuff out.
Post # 10
I would suck it up and pay for it, too. I don’t think it’s ever right to offer something and take it back, especially super last minute like this! Even if you think they forgot, it’s possible they weren’t 100% sure you were offering in the first place if you were vague at all.
What about getting them a GC to the salon? A friend of mine did this and said we could use it for hair if we wanted but could also save it and get a massage there later or whatever. We knew she coudln’t afford all of our hair but the fact she put $50 towards it said a lot.
Post # 11
I would just go ahead and pay too. Especially if you already said you were going to…even if some of them may have forgotten. In the scheme of things it probably isn’t going to cost you that much and I know as a bridesmaid with everything else you have to pay for…I sure appreciate not having to worry about that.
Post # 12
Yep, I agree. You said that you would, I think that you should. If I were a Bridesmaid or Best Man and were told 8 days out that I’d have to incur an expense I hadn’t expected to, I wouldn’t be happy especially if I didn’t have the money.
Post # 13
I think this is a “suck it up” situation. The only exception is if you are REALLY close to a Bridesmaid or Best Man, you could ask her to help you out by paying now, and you will pay her back. I have a few friends to whome I am close enough to lend money, that’s the situation I am thinking of.
But if you ask, phrase it in a way in which you are recognizing that this is a big favor, and that she can say no if she doesn’t have the money.
Post # 14
Do you have a salon school near you? I feel like I always mention this and people probably go “wtf” when i bring it up. But the one near me does updos for $25….it’s cheap and they could all be done at the same time if that’s a possible option. If my SIL wasn’t a stylist (i know i totally lucked out) this is what we would have done.
Post # 15
I would pay for them just because I know that personally as a student I have zero extra money and so I wouldnt’ve saved any extra to pay for hair over the months if I thought I didn’t have to pay for it.
Post # 16
Because you said you would pay, I think you should pay. You said you would. I personally would not want to get my hair done if it wasn’t paid for by someone else. In other words, I would want to skip it if I was in the bridal party and it was not being paid for. Maybe it would have been better to tell them sooner if you were having $ trouble.