(Closed) Backing out on paying for hair…

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Bee
2362 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - New York Botanical Garden

If they are close to you, and the hair styling is reasonable, I think they would understand.  As a bridesmaid, I would.  Also, this lets them find their own if they want to.  Worst case maybe split with them, or take them out for manicures instead?

Post # 4
Member
2703 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

this close to the wedding and out of respect for your BM’s i say suck it up and pay for it.

i’m sure they’ve put in their share of time, money, and effort and i think that springing this on them (the ones taht think ur paying) so lsat minute is kind of rude… and for those that are willing to pay (i don’t think u’d feel comfortable taking advantage of their forgetfulness).

put it this way, it’s going to be a few hundred dollars now, but a lifetime worth of friendships and memories! 🙂

Post # 5
Member
4466 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Personally, I would just suck it up and put it on a CC.  Your bridesmaids are probably trying to budget too and it would s*ck to find out a week before that you had to shell out more money that you weren’t expecting.

Post # 6
Member
2476 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Hmmm, tough one.  If you already said you would pay, I think you should just suck it up and pay.  You definitely can’t pay for some and not all.  Or, you could pay a portion of the cost and have them pay the rest (dunno how you would bring this up though without letting them know you’re running out of cash). 

Post # 7
Member
235 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I agree with the other ladies who have said “suck it up”. I’m sure your bridesmaids are incurring expenses to be a part of your wedding, and this is one expense that they were told they didn’t need to pay for. They probably would be understanding, but they would probably also be pretty irked that your offer was revoked.

Post # 9
Member
2641 posts
Sugar bee

I have to agree.  I think you should still pay. 

If you originally didn’t offer, or just had someone set up “in case” they wanted to pay for it, that would be fine.  The BMs would have had enough time to pulls funds, decide if they could find something cheaper, use their own hair dresser if need be, or investigate how to create a cute do by themselves.  But this close to the wedding, I think you are not leaving them enough time to figure stuff out.

I’m sorry.

Post # 10
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would suck it up and pay for it, too. I don’t think it’s ever right to offer something and take it back, especially super last minute like this! Even if you think they forgot, it’s possible they weren’t 100% sure you were offering in the first place if you were vague at all.

What about getting them a GC to the salon? A friend of mine did this and said we could use it for hair if we wanted but could also save it and get a massage there later or whatever. We knew she coudln’t afford all of our hair but the fact she put $50 towards it said a lot.

Post # 11
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would just go ahead and pay too.  Especially if you already said you were going to…even if some of them may have forgotten.  In the scheme of things it probably isn’t going to cost you that much and I know as a bridesmaid with everything else you have to pay for…I sure appreciate not having to worry about that.

Post # 12
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

Yep, I agree. You said that you would, I think that you should. If I were a Bridesmaid or Best Man and were told 8 days out that I’d have to incur an expense I hadn’t expected to, I wouldn’t be happy especially if I didn’t have the money.

Post # 13
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think this is a “suck it up” situation. The only exception is if you are REALLY close to a Bridesmaid or Best Man, you could ask her to help you out by paying now, and you will pay her back. I have a few friends to whome I am close enough to lend money, that’s the situation I am thinking of.

But if you ask, phrase it in a way in which you are recognizing that this is a big favor, and that she can say no if she doesn’t have the money.

Post # 14
Member
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Do you have a salon school near you? I feel like I always mention this and people probably go “wtf” when i bring it up. But the one near me does updos for $25….it’s cheap and they could all be done at the same time if that’s a possible option. If my SIL wasn’t a stylist (i know i totally lucked out) this is what we would have done. 

Post # 15
Member
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I would pay for them just because I know that personally as a student I have zero extra money and so I wouldnt’ve saved any extra to pay for hair over the months if I thought I didn’t have to pay for it.

Post # 16
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Because you said you would pay, I think you should pay.  You said you would.  I personally would not want to get my hair done if it wasn’t paid for by someone else.  In other words, I would want to skip it if I was in the bridal party and it was not being paid for.  Maybe it would have been better to tell them sooner if you were having $ trouble. 

 

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