(Closed) Backlash from Small Wedding

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012


I guess there is not really much you can do. Hopefully they will take the hint and deal with it. If they push it I would just be polite and direct. 



Post # 4
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@cirrus:   “I am glad that you are not letting others know who was/wasn’t invitied. Let them gossip among themselves, but most importantly that they don’t say

so and so (you) told me that cousin A was not invited that would be disrespectful and rude. Keep up the good etiquette

Post # 5
7311 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

It happens. My family started laying on the guilt almost instantly. I shrug it off. I can’t please everyone, and I’m definitely not going to try when it’s OUR wedding, not theirs.

Post # 7
2701 posts
Sugar bee

@cirrus: Just the fact that members of your family complain and gossip about not being invited says exactly why their presence was not asked for at your wedding. Please don’t listen to them. You made the best decision for both you and your wedding as you couldn’t possibly invite everyone.

Post # 8
34 posts
  • Wedding: December 2011

I’m a very blunt/honest person. Our wedding started at 30 and now is up to 40 due to his family demanding invites. I’m allowing it to go up to 40 because our venue can hold 40 (it is rated to 75 but yeah right, wit how much room to move?!) comfortably so I either say that “I’m sorry but you have to understand that my fiance and I are paying for this ourselves and cannot afford a huge wedding” (I dont care if they we’re paying, some people might be more shy) or I say “This is my dream venue and it only holds 40 people. SORRY but it’s booked and paid for and that’s how it is.” Just ignore it, hun! 

Post # 10
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Mrs.ChubbyBunny: I totally agree! 

@cirrus: I am with you on this! FH and I are having 37 people as of the last count. I’m expecting his extended family to throw a cow after invitations have been sent…. but that’s exactly WHY we didn’t invite them. The family members who really care about FH or us together would be sad not to get an invitation ( they are ) but they certainly wouldn’t make us feel bad about it. 

Keep your head up and I think you made a good decision about only wanting to celebrate with certain close people! Looking back, you’re going to want to remember all the people who love you and are happy for you, I don’t think that’s a decision you’ll regret! 

Post # 11
13 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

Its your wedding, be happy with what you want and do it! If people can’t be happy for you then then that really shows you what type of people they are. Don’t feel sorry, Stand up for yourself.

Post # 12
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

its bad enough to complain about not being invited but to continue to complain proves them as rude – ignore them, you cant make everyone happy so accept that some people suck and try to let it go

Post # 13
3521 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We ran into this a little bit–DH has a very large family and we could only invite immediate family from his side (my family is tiny, so I invited aunts/uncles and the like and our numbers were still fairly even). Once we explained the situation, though, they understood and were gracious about it. It’s incredibly rude for your relative to continue to complain, but look at it this way: it reflects negatively on him/her, not you.

Post # 15
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@cirrus: it’s not my responsibility to have a family reunion.

OMG. Thank you.

Post # 16
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009



I think that if everybody repeated this as they were creating the guest list, the wedding world would be a much happier place 🙂

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