(Closed) Backwards Bride…

posted 5 years ago in September 2013
Post # 3
Member
2448 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I do think it’s quite odd to be doing all this planning without a ring – not to mention that you’re missing out on the fun of connecting with friends and family during the planning stage. Why not just have the wedding next year?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 4
Member
882 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

 

 

@sera_archie:  I must agree with @atlbride2013:  I think you are making things harder on yourself by doing it this way.  If you asked me to be in your wedding a couple months in advance, I may decline due to being financially unprepared or not being able to get off work.  I think you guys are better served to wait until next year, if this specific date is so important to your SO.  If not, then he needs to put that ring on you tonight and you need to call your intended party TONIGHT.  As for save the dates, don’t fool with them.  You are supposed to have them out by the 6 month mark so I would do email/phone/word of mouth and get my invites out at the 3-4month mark. 

 

Post # 5
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

My Fiance and I put down a deposit on a venue and chose a date before the official proposal. But, we had already asked for our parents blessing and told all of our closest family and friends the date. I couldn’t imagine springing a wedding on the people I love with 5 months notice. Most of my family (and 3 of my 4 closest friends) are out of state, so if I didn’t give them notice, there would be no way for them to arrange to get out of work/school and get plane tickets.

I think you should call any out of state family and the people you want in your bridal party and let them know. I began planning a wedding without an official proposal, but I was very transparent with the people I love so that everyone was in the loop. I also know my mother would be sad to not be involved in wedding planning and helping with the dress, so she would be upset if I planned everything secretly.

Post # 6
Member
1670 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

We’re planning without a proposal (we’re waiting until I meet his parents to get “formally” engaged!) but all the key players know. His parents know it is coming and know we have a date set, my parents are fully involved (and are hosting). I am keeping quiet to most everyone else (not a destination wedding to anyone but his immediate family) because we’d like to plan in relative privacy for now. We booked the church and venue, and I’ve already bought a dress – I went with my mom when I was home for a visit!

You might should put some people in the loop – 5 months to go and you don’t know when you’ll be able to announce is very tight. We’ve already told the major players and we’ll be getting engaged with 8 months to go.

Post # 8
Member
197 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

You don’t need a ring to be engaged.   For years, people managed to get married without a ring and without a year’s notice.  I would give a heads up to those who will be in your bridal party.  As long as you are not looking for the most requested venues or vendors, you should be fine with 5 months. 

Post # 11
Member
917 posts
Busy bee

@sera_archie:  How exciting! Congrats! I guess my comment on your original post would be redundant lol. 

Post # 13
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@sera_archie:  So how long have you been secretly planning your wedding? Good for you to be able to keep it a secret.

Post # 15
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sera_archie:  CONGRATULATIONS!

For the record, I don’t think there is ANYTHING wrong with the way you two did things.  We also started planning before officially having a ring and we got a little flack for it, too (from the few friends I spoke to about it).  I’d love to know the story and see the ring! 

Post # 16
Member
1367 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I can totally relate! We didn’t get engaged until I was standing at the alter – no joke. My Darling Husband and I are both expats and had a civil ceremony about a month ago due to visa needs but we are having the celebration with friends and family in Sept. I just send out our Save-The-Date Cards tonight – a huge weight off of my shoulders.

He never officially asked me to marry him but we looked at rings, got a marriage licence, told his family when we were visiting them in New Zealand in Feb. and then flew to my parents’ place in Canada the week before we were married because he wanted to ask my parents in person.  My parents had a weeks’ notice and his three weeks, but despite this and our having a reception in Sept, they wanted to come to our civil ceremony.

We didn’t order our rings until the Monday before our ceremony (we were getting married on a Friday).  My rings are two wavy separate bands that fit together like a puzzle – one pave diamonds and the other white gold. We were told they would try to rush them since apparently I have small fingers and they didn’t have any my size in the US.

I picked up a small silver band to wear in their place.  But the day before the wedding, Darling Husband got a call saying one of the rings was available. He didn’t tell me because he wanted to surprise me.  When he went to the store, the sales guy said that the other one would get there that day.  And then the door opened and the  UPS guy walked in with my ring.

Later at City Hall.  My now Mother-In-Law kept telling Darling Husband to propose, already which I thought was funny.  When we got into the chapel, and were standing in front of the officiant, Darling Husband pulled out the box with my real rings and said “Wait.  I haven’t asked her to marry me yet.”  Then he got down on one knee and gave me the diamond band. I reckon we have the shortest engagement ever, since we were married about a minute and a half later.

So do not worry about it being backwards or rushed…in some ways it makes it easier…less time to stress out.  Good luck with your planning!

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