(Closed) Bad Bridesmaid?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3218 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

you can feel terrible but you can also take the job. I’d have to take the job I really would. Selfish ass might I be? Yes, but I need to take care of myself first.

Post # 4
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I don’t think that she could expect you pass up this opportunity, although she would probablly be hurt.

Post # 5
945 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Given the circumstances, I would understand (if I were your friend).  If you’ve already gotten a Bridesmaid or Best Man dress, maybe offer it to her so she can use it for the replacement Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 6
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@vmec: I wouldn’t call it selfish, since YOUR life has to come first.  (unless you’re engaged, then it’s BOTH your lives first…)


View original reply
@ameliajs: you’re giving her four months advance notice.  She’ll have time to find someone else (if she wants) and has a good reason to give the person.  

Is it possible she’s just upset that you won’t be able to come, not because you won’t be a bridesmaid?  I’d be upset if a friend wasn’t able to come to my wedding due to a job, but I’d be thrilled they were offered such an awesome job!  

Sorry you can’t go to the wedding, but enjoy your job!!!!

Post # 7
1268 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You cannot turn down a job offer just to remain a bridesmaid!  Step down, she’ll understand.


Post # 8
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I could see her being upset after initially finding out, but I think after a day or two she will realize that this isn’t an opportunity you can pass up.  Also, it’s not like you are backing out 2 weeks before, 4 months still gives enough time to come up with a back up plan.  Good Luck with your new job and living in Europe!

Post # 9
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I wouldn’t be upset. You have to take the job. I would be sad that you can’t come to the wedding but I would understand. 🙂 

Post # 10
325 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

That is a great opportunity and you shouldn’t pass it up for ONE day!  I’m sure she’ll be upset but if she’s sane she’ll get over it and be happy for you.

Post # 11
177 posts
Blushing bee

If it was my firend, I would be bummed that they would not be there, but I would be super happy for them to have such a great opportunity! She’ll understand.

Post # 12
16 posts
  • Wedding: October 2011

It’s understandable that you feel bad, but this is an amazing career opportunity! I think it’s expected that your friend/bride will be upset that you can’t be in her wedding, and probably also upset that you’re moving to another continent! 

I think you’re giving her plenty of notice…it’s not like you are just backing out with a lame reason.

Post # 14
4560 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

If she was a realy friend, she would be happy for you and your great opportunity. But she is allowed to feel- sad, disappointed, upset- that you won’t be there and that she might have to find another Bridesmaid or Best Man. If she starts to complain about not being able to find someone because of money issues, I might offer to pay for half the dress. I would also buy a kick ass gift.

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