(Closed) Bad Bridesmaid!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why did you ask her to be a bridesmaid? Did she never behave like this before?

Post # 4
Member
334 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

If you don’t believe it would be genuine to thank her for her help, why don’t you write her a little note about what you love about her and why her friendship is important to you. There must be reasons you chose her as a bridesmaid. What parts of your history together stand out as special and meaningful for you?

Post # 5
Member
396 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Just be the bigger person and write her a really vague note of thanks.  You don’t want her noticing the slight and creating drama the day before your wedding right?

Post # 6
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I am really sorry this is happening to you … However I think not including a note in her bag is going to start a petty argument the night before your big day.  I really don’t think its worth it. She sounds like she is very self-centered and you could be running the risk of having her not show up on the weddding day at all by creating a situation the night before.  Honestly – I am the same type of person and it would kill me to swallow this but I would and I would write something very simple in it like “thank you for being a part of our big day.” 

Post # 9
Member
875 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@Katielebeau:  why do you just write something like “thank you for being in my wedding, your friendship means a lot to me” and then write longer notes to the other girls. Unfortunately weddings bring out the worst in people!

Post # 10
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Katielebeau:  Weddings bring out the worst in some people. I agree with PPs just to write something really vague and short. 

Post # 11
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Ballet513:  Yeah, this. :

It’s an unfortunate thing to learn, that the people who are supposed to love you can turn into absolute monsters when your wedding comes around. Sometimes it should be expected, and sometimes it’s out of the blue. Weddings should be such a happy time, and a lot of times they’re just…not.

Post # 12
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I disagree about giving her a note and to be honest I wouldn’t be giving her a gift at all. Homegirl would have been kicked out back when she called me a Bitch! In fact, if I were you I would still kick her out and just refund her for anything she spent money on – just make sure you get the dress from her so you can resell it.

im kind of experiencing the same lack of interest and support from my PA – I suspect she was burned when I didn’t make her a Bridesmaid or Best Man. My thought is Too Feaking Bad! When she had her wedding I was only her PA and she included me in next to nothing but I took it like a good friend. Our friendship was damaged after that but I thought we moved on and things were better  – these last few months have proved me wrong. We haven’t talked about this yet, but I can Guarantee you that it turns into an argument where she crtizises me or calls me a bitch she is out of my wedding, and every other aspect of my life. I have no time for that kind of drama!

Post # 13
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Also, I want to add that I was “honored” to be her PA! The way she went about asking me was really bizarre and she accused me of pressuring her to include me Lin her wedding. It was totally untrue and I was beyond insulted.. anyhow… I wish I hadn’t included her in mine (because of her behavior – there is more to this obviously) and I’m looking forward to cutting her out of my life.

Post # 14
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

“I was advised to ask people who you know would want to help and I mistakenly thought she was one.” That doesn’t sound like you chose her because you have a close relationship.

 

If its possible that she wouldn’t come to the wedding and you can forego any friendship, I’d fire her as Bridesmaid or Best Man.  I wouldn’t want someone who is bitter and uninterested standing up for me at my wedding.  I also wouldn’t want the stress of worrying how she would ruin my special day.

 

If you really don’t want to deal with any possible drama, write a short one line note and call it a day. 

Post # 16
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

@Katielebeau:  Um, okay wow! I totally did not realize she is your step-sister… That SUCKS! If I were you I would still put my foot down and let her know that her behavior is unacceptable – she is ALREADY causing you undue stress.

I agreee with you though that cutting her out is not really an option though.. I think the best thing for you to do is to just take a step back and not expect anything from her. I really don’t think including a note in her gift is nessesary, but if you decide to write one just write it along the lines of how you “are happy that she is in your life and that you can include her in this special time in your life,  blah blah blah”. As for thanking her thought? I wouldn’t do that… you wont feel good about thanking her for her selfishness.

Oh, and as for makeup? Just tell the MA that  she won’t be included in it- if she complains just remind her that you gave her ample opportunity to participate but that she didn’t commit in time for it, That is all.

As for my PA – just the thought of her irritates me right now.. honestly, I am hoping that I don’t have to even confront her (which is what she wants). I am crossing my fingers that she just dissapears entirely.. ugh.

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