- 8 years ago
- Wedding: August 2011
I am just feeling down this morning and just thought I’d type out a vent to see if it helps.
Mostly its work, I hate every moment I’m here. I fantasize about quiting every day. I start to stress about Monday on saturday night. This week will be especially long as I’ll be at work till 9pm most days. It makes me so short with everyone including my Fiance. He tries to tell me to have a better attitude and try harder to like it. He stops me when I vent about my day. It frustrates me so much, I just need to vent about it. I don’t want a “fix”.
I’m also very frustrated about our plans. We are moving in may or june but its too early to start making real plans, like finding housing. After 2 1/2 years of being in a long distance relationship I am ready to be with my Fiance. I just want to be together and married. 4-5 months to go but its getting more frustrating with the waiting.
As ready as I am to go and stop the feeling of sitting in limbo, i’m dreading leaving my family. Its been just me and my dad for 24 years and I still talk to him every day and see him a few times a week. I always wanted a bigger family than just us and a few years ago he started dating an amazing women with two awesome daughters with great fiances/husbands so now we have that family and I’m leaving. Also I’ve gotten so much closer to my Maid/Matron of Honor and I’ll miss her so much. We have been friends for 24 years now but she is 2 years younger so we weren’t as close in college but now that we are both done and live near each other we see each other all the time and talk all the time.
Also on the move thing, my fi loves to look for housing for us which is cute but we can’t do anything about it right now and it sucks to find stuff we like because it won’t be there in 4 months. I wish he would spend more time on the wedding rather than looking at houses we can’t rent.
Feels a bit better to type it out. Ok back to the grind… sigh