Post # 1
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
Hi bees,
My wedding is coming up in June 2020. I was a bit anxious about the idea of dress shopping, because I have large breasts (34 DD/E) and I’m about 10 lbs heavier than I’d like to be at the moment. I have a fitness plan to lose that over the next couple months, but couldn’t put off dress shopping any longer, since most people advise you to buy a dress about 8 months out.
I had my first dress shopping experience this week and it was just… a nightmare. It seems like there are NO DRESS OPTIONS for women with big breasts?? If the dress is covered in the front, then it’s completely backless, making it impossible to wear a bra. Strapless could be an option for me since some dresses have some good boning/support, but it’s not really my style, and feels too “sexy” for me. Every dress feels like it’s made for petite women, and it just made me feel giant. The stylist helping me seemed at a complete loss too.
My second shopping experience was at a more “alternative” dress shop and was a bit better. There were more elegant and modern dress options and I felt more confident trying them on – but again, each dress that I actually liked had an open back, so impossible for me to wear a bra. The stylist was great, and said she would email the designers to see if the dresses could be altered in the back, but she said it was unlikely as this would mean changing the pattern.
My wonderful partner has been so sweet and supportive – after I came home from the first appointment crying, he went out and brought home a beautiful bouquet of flowers, made me laugh through my tears, and told me how perfect I am.
I’ve always been able to shop in a so-called “normal” range of clothing (I’m usually a size 8-10 US) and I know how to dress my body type to feel confident. But this experience is really making me feel scared that there’s nothing out there for me and that I won’t feel confident on my wedding day. I’m also scared I’ll have to settle for something I don’t love just because it’s the only thing that’s flattering. I still have 3 upcoming appointments at various boutiques, but I’m feeling a little hopeless. Has anyone else experienced this and ended up finding a dress they love?? Does anyone have any suggestions (i.e. is there some kind of bra solution for women with big breasts in a dress with no back)? Even just a bit of love after a tough week would help.
Post # 2
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
- Wedding: October 2020 - California
Omg Bee I’m in the same boat! I’m a 34DDD and finding normal tops alone is nearly impossible without looking baggy or too revealing! But don’t fret boo! The best advice I’ve heard is to just keeping looking, and try EVERYTHING on. It’s a good thing you’ve booked with multiple boutiques because trust me the first one I went to the lady made me feel like I had to have my dress custom made and that felt terrible. Also with you on this for the best bras, because I recently saw a post about using tape? Not sure if that’s a good idea though! Lol hang in there beautiful! We can do this! For the busty brides unite 😄
Post # 3
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
SAME boat here. I’m a 34E. NOTHING fits!!!! So frustrating.
Post # 4
Member
1689 posts
Bumble bee
So a number of things…..first. Wedding dress sizes are not real life street sizes and you’ll need to kinda get over that part. I’m a street size 6 but damed if I wasn’t a 10 in a wedding dress! Sheesh!
Second….Start with your own wardrobe. What dresses make you feel beautiful and confident?? See if there are wedding dresses with a similar cut or style. You can also look online and find a dress you like and then see if the dress shop has anything similar. Google is your best friend in this dept.
Third as far as bras are concerned, it depends on your cup size. I’ve used a sticky bra (I don’t have big boobs) but I think for bigger sizes that may not offer much support. For any dress you do select you may need to have cups sewn in. You can also just use fashion tape.
Hope this helps
Post # 5
Member
1689 posts
Bumble bee
Oh and websites like Azazie make custom dresses and are budget friendly. Just check it out and see if you’ll like it. I definitely suggest them for your bridal party if you’re having one.
Post # 6
Member
157 posts
Blushing bee
Hey bee, I’m the same size as you are with large breasts I wear a 34dd and I hate having myself too exposed ect. I’m a size 8-10. I found my dress at David’s bridal, do you have one around? There were so many styles that worked for me! I’ll attach pics of my dress the back was all lace and full cap sleeves if it helps and I hope you find your dream dress!
Post # 7
Member
1316 posts
Bumble bee
Yeah I had the same experience. I tried a deep v and I looked like I was nothing but boob. I finally found a strapless dress that I love. The seamstress is putting metal boning in it and I don’t even have to wear a bra.
And also – what is WITH all the backless styles? Not everyone wants their back exposed, even if they are small chested enough to pull it off!
I think strapless styles will be your friend here. You can always add lace to it or wear underneath it to make it less ‘sexy’.
Post # 8
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
I’m a 36 DDD and ran into a similar problem. I wasn’t super into the idea of a strapless dress but did end up choosing one because the structure was so good that I didn’t need a bra! I was a bridal size 14, but what really made the difference was ordering a 12W! The 12W really accomodated my bust size! 
Post # 9
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
Omg… thank you all. Even knowing that I’m not alone with this problem makes me feel 1000x better. It’s a really problem that so many of us have had this issue though, and I think there’s a real gap in the bridal market!!! This experience should only be fun and there should be a lot to choose from for all body types.
I’m going to try to keep my head up and keep looking and try not to lose faith. I’ll definitely try on strapless dresses as suggested, and maybe if I like one, I can have it altered to include some little sleeves.
I also decided to start looking “outside” of the bridal market. I went to Saks on my lunch break today, and tried on some interesting non-bridal dresses. They made me feel much more comfortable and in my own skin, so maybe I’ll find something white or even sequin that’s not specifically a wedding dress. Our venue is a downtown loft, so I think I can get away with something non-traditional.
Post # 10
Member
464 posts
Helper bee
Don’t be discouraged! You’ve only been to one store, you can’t jump to conclusions based on that. Every store will have a different selection. You might want to try looking online first, and when you see a dress you like, find out which stores carry that designer. Then you can walk into a store knowing exactly which dresses you want to try on.
I found dress shopping to be a frustrating experience too, mostly because I couldn’t find any stores that carried the styles I like. I had to call a lot of stores asking if they had specific styles because I didn’t want to waste my time going to a store that would be full of dresses I hated. Girl, I’m with you on the backless dress trend! I don’t even have big boobs (I have the opposite problem, actually) but I hate backless dresses. I’m rather flat chested, so I can wear my dress without a bra, but I have scoliosis and I don’t want my whole crooked back exposed.
You might want to look at dresses by Casablanca; they’ll let you customize any of their gowns, so you can add straps or extra coverage to the bust area if you want. There are also some designers that will make your dress to your exact measurements at no extra charge (Casablanca and Kenneth Winston do this), so you won’t have to order a size that’s way too big just to accommodate your bust.
I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you have plenty of options! Don’t despair! 🙂
Post # 11
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee
The floaty boho styles don’t support or flatter large breasts . Neither do open backs etc.
There are dresses with structure on top that aren’t strapless, or that you could add straps to.
If you prefer an unstructured dress you could have a floaty skirt and still work with support on top.
I have a similar issue, but I sew so I was able to get a deal.on a sample and customize it myself. I sewed in a fave bra, added more support and raised the bust line, and reinforced the strappy back for better support.
Post # 12
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
I similarly don’t understand this obsession with backlessness. It looks awful on most people. It only really suits young slender brides. It exposes back fat for everyone else and poses difficulties with breast support. I’d suggest OP looks at Cocomelody because they have the capacity to modify their styles and to make them to measure.
Post # 13
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
QueenBee32 : beautiful dress
Post # 14
Member
3968 posts
Honey bee
Jazzylove : you look gorgeous
Post # 15
Member
228 posts
Helper bee
I agree with the suggestion of trying strapless for a big bust I am a G cup and end up with an off the shoulder with a corset top.
if you don’t like the look of strapless see if they can be altered to add a lace strap or sleeve so your top is not so open.
Also yes a structured top probably more practical and then you can go the soft skirt but just keep trying you will find your dress.
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