(Closed) BAD FORM!!! Advice needed

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What should we do?
    Go to their wedding and stay for the reception, but be nice and cover for the bride's rudeness. : (1 votes)
    1 %
    Go and stay for the reception, but be honest about why you're not eating if people ask. : (13 votes)
    12 %
    Don't go. Who needs this? : (86 votes)
    82 %
    Other (please explain) : (5 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    Hostess
    18615 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I really would not go but I would tell them that it is completely rude to invite someone to a jack and jill (which is supposed to go toward paying for the wedding) and then cutting them out of the wedding guest list.

    Post # 4
    Member
    435 posts
    Helper bee

    I wouldn’t go.

    Post # 5
    Member
    6598 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Jack and Jill’s are very common here in Canada and I don’t like them for this reason!

    Because here if you are invited to a Jack and Jill it does NOT in anyway indicate that you are invited to the wedding.

    It is basically a fundraiser for the bride and groom and they invite anyone and everyone they can to get more money. I have been invited to at least 7 Jack and Jills through facebook (hello mass invitation), I have never gone because I don’t agree with them, and I was not invited to one of those weddings!

    I would not go to this couples wedding!

    Post # 6
    Member
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    no way in hell I’d be there

    Post # 7
    Member
    503 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I agree. You shouldn’t stoop to that. I would stay home.

    Post # 8
    Member
    2250 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: March 2017

    wow I thought a jack and Jill was just a co-ed shower!

    Post # 11
    Member
    1816 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    How close is C and his student?  If the answer is not super close, I would skip the wedding.  It is going to be awkward and inconvenient to have to leave while everyone eats or to stand around, and from what you wrote it does not sound like the bride will be changing her mind about the meal.  I would save yourselves the frustration.  Also, no need to cause conflict at the wedding by telling people you weren’t included in the meal portion.   Personally, I think it is rude for her to exclude you, but be the bigger person.

    P.S. I have never heard of a Jack and Jill shower before.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2562 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I wouldn’t go, but would send them a congratulations card – and in it write how disappointed you were to be snubbed out of their wedding, after being invited to their Jack and Jill, therefore assisting with wedding funding.

    Post # 13
    Hostess
    18615 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    @jordynrose: I have never heard of them in person but I learned about them on here.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1927 posts
    Buzzing bee

    Your FI obviously knows the groom so he must have some way of contacting him (email, phone, etc).  Honestly.. I would say I want my money back from the Jack and Jill.  Probably too confrontational for most but I would be really really pissed.  Why on EARTH would you help pay for a wedding that you’re not invited to.  If you were looking to give out donations you would have contacted a charity! 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1816 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    @MissAB: I wonder if it is a Northern state/Canadian thing?  I’ve heard of co-ed showers before, but never of a shower that funds the couple or the wedding.  Interesting concept.

    Post # 16
    Member
    570 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I don’t think I would go either. It isn’t right that your invite is limited. If you can’t join in all the festivities, I think it would make it very awkward if you were asked why it happened the way it did. Really, it should make the bride and groom feel like major @$$es, but that is on them. That is why you always have to be sure of your guest list before any wedding pre-parties, that way the people going to the pre-parties can also go to the wedding without any awkwardness. It was poorly planned on their part.

    The topic ‘BAD FORM!!! Advice needed’ is closed to new replies.

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