bad friend

posted 4 months ago in The Lounge
Post # 16
442 posts
Helper bee

It sounds like a lot of built up mutual resentment between you two, and I think it’s best that you part ways. I do advise, however, that you examine your own behavior towards her as well. A lot of judgment and “what has she done for me lately” coming from you, and not a lot of thought for her while she’s clearly going through something. Breaking up with her longterm boyfriend, getting kicked out of her “best friend’s” bridal party for not throwing the bride-to-be enough parties, sudden impulsive marriage, and even the weed smoking and the messiness sounds like she is going through a rough patch if not a depressive episode. I understand that we all have our own things going on, as you had your wedding and the loss of your pup, which are big life events, so it sounds like things fell apart due to poor communication and a lack of compassion on both sides.

Post # 17
203 posts
Helper bee

Have you looked at any of this from her perspective? People are complicated and all relationships take work. Friendships are relationships…they need time and care and sometimes they are unbalanced. 

Sometimes one person needs extra support and can’t fulfill her duties as a friend. 

If you really think she is selfish and horrible, then let her go but if you think there is value left, talk to her and work it out. You are adults and talking isn’t always easy but it tends to do the trick. 

Post # 18
4871 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

People change, lives change. I think your expectations are whacked. She doesn’t owe you anything. The fact that she married in secret a few months ago and didn’t think to tell you pretty much sums up how close she thinks you are. Congratulate her and let it go. No need for any formal break ups.

Post # 19
53 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

You said a whole lot about what she didn’t do for you. But what have you done for her? Were you there for her when she broke up with her boyfriend.

Oh wait, you did do one thing for her. You kicked her out of your wedding. Regardless of how you worded it, that’s pretty much a friendship ender.

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